Hi, I have just joined this site in need of help!

I have a 13 year old boy with Aspergers and he is now out of control. He is a big lad, very strong  and at times physically abusive.

We have trubble getting him to school as he won't get out of bed and this can lead into a verbal fight or sometime him pushing me about. I have been told to give him the 5min warning but he is to old for that now? I have taken away all the computers and tv in he's room today with made him go completly mad at me and gave him a bigger reason to stay in bed. 

He is putting such a strain on the family and i don't know whats the best road to go down? 

  • I have a 14 year old son with autism, and often have difficulty getting him out of bed in the morning. His emotional development is less than his age in years would suggest, so I do still use techniques (such as the 5 minute warning) which are usually for younger children, and they can still work. I try to pick my battles carefully. I also use rewards for good behaviour (such as a favourite magazine, or extra computer time) and removal or reduction of computer time for bad behaviour. Invariably, he sometimes gets very angry, sometimes breaks things, then runs to his room. I find it best to let him get it out of his system if possible, because he won't listen to anything at times like that, it usually makes things worse. However if your son is being physically abusive, you will need advice which I don't feel qualified to offer. Hopefully someone else will help you here, or you could try the NAS helpline.

    Just a thought, but has he always hated going to school, or is it recent? Has anything happened there which has particularly upset him?

  • Hi ,

    I'm sorry to hear about the situation that you and your family are currently going through with your son. I know that OrinocoFlo mentioned that the NAS has a helpline you can try contacting. The number to call would be 0808 800 4104 (Monday to Thursday 10am to 4pm, Friday 9am to 3pm).Please note however that the helpline is experiencing a high volume of calls and it may take a couple of attempts before you get through to speak to an advisor. Please see the following link for further information:

    In regards to your son's behaviour, individuals on the spectrum can often display behaviour that may be challenging. There will generally be a reason for this and it is important to try and understand the trigger for the behaviour when developing strategies.

    You may like to have a look at the following link for more information on behaviour and strategies:

    You may also be interested in seeking some professional support regarding the behaviour. You can search for professionals in your area we are aware of on the Autism Services Directory:

    Best wishes,