Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi.
Im Matthew, 37 and I am about to go on the journey to be referred for an assessment. I have known deep down that I do have Autistic traits for a number of years and now is the time to confront it.
My best guess is that I have Aspergers. I function but it takes sooooo much effort. I have read and learned from books about body language, anthropology psychology.
When I am tired, all the learning goes out of the window and I can be a little insensitive. Not an excuse, but it can be difficult.
i know I will have to wait 3/4 months but hey. Can anyone tell me what to expect? Is it questionnaires etc? I know that I hit all the developmental markers as a toddler (walking, talking) but that’s all that my parents can remember. I can remember primary school vividly. Including first year. Is that typical?
Anyway say hi.
Matthew
I must admit doing this, the process is a source of dread. Waking up at night, panic attack’s. I am concerned that my parents remember my childhood differently. I.e they think I was normal, but it didn’t feel that way. For example I didn’t have any real friends, I think I went to 5 birthday parties in my entire asisclence, the pub 5 times. I was more than happy to stay home. It just wasn’t me and I was happy to stay there.
The same. Mum came to my diagnostic assessment to give her side of the story and said my childhood was relatively normal. She admitted, though, that I was 'different' from my older brother as a child. More disruptive. More reclusive. In my early teens, mum and dad tried to get me to go to youth clubs because they were worried that I didn't have any friends. I went once, to please them. Never again. I dreaded parties, family weddings, etc. Never went to the pub in my teens and twenties. Only went to night clubs because I thought it was what I was supposed to do, and the only way I'd ever meet anyone. I never did... and I always hated the experience.
Amazing!
I also dreaded parties. I always hated the experience.
I have never visited the pub or a night club. I also thought it was what I was supposed to do but never did.
Am I missing out?
I don't think so. I found clubs to be miserable places. I always went home alone!