Rejection

Hey my name is Sean I'm 26 im doing okay in life but mentally I feel I have been rejected to much in life in basically every area of being human I've recently been told i can't even do a basic job in driving because of medical forms requiring to be mentally and physically fit im driving day to day anyways its the only thing I enjoy in life and can to do well in but I now feel this is it for me in life and I just feel it's not living its just existing I'm mature enough to no I've had enough of this world its just not for me and I don't no what to do about how i feel I've never committed suicide or self harm as i could never do that to my mum and I never would i just feel like I'm in a world I don't belong and I've had enough of the rejections it's what's making me angrier with the world hope someone can give me any advice on what I should do ?

  • I understand how you feel, I can relate. But don’t give in. Get some specialist support to help you find paid employment in a field in which you’re good at and something you enjoy doing. There are plenty of opportunities out there, we often just need some support to access them. You’ll find a way to show that you are fit for a driving job. 

    This world or the societies we currently live in, aren’t made for us, but that doesn’t mean we haven’t got a rightful place in them, because we have. Don’t give up, get some support. You deserve the right to a life which is beyond existing, don’t give up on that. Disability rights groups can be a good starting point, they can often sign post to more appropriate support. Keep going until - until you get the support you need to enable you to live the life you deserve. Don’t forget the helpline on this site as well. 

  • I would say keep applying and unfortunately prepare for more rejection as it can often take many applications to get a job. In terms of driving you could gain your taxi/private hire license and look to other options, I know for UPS operate a driver's mate program where they get to see if people could be suitable for a driving job.

    If the issues were specific to driving you might also need to address them directly, companies have a duty of care both to employees and the wider public. That might mean that you have to prove yourself mentally competent and also physically fit enough to be a driver so on that basis analyse the reasons you were rejected and look to address them if you can.

    Finally start small, if you're 26 and haven't been in employment before then you will need to prove you can fit into a work environment, that might involve doing some volunteering first, for instance if you have a full, clean driving license and especially if you're willing to upgrade your license to larger vehicles many local mobility charities are looking for volunteer drivers so that could provide a route to prove competence.

  • I'm glad you say "I could never do that to my Mum" regarding thoughts of suicide, but what about 'I could never do that to myself'? You are a valuable person too. Valuable to your Mum, obviously, but also valuable in your own right! 

    Facing rejection is hard for all of us and when you're still starting out in life, as you are at your age, it can be especially hard. I remember going through the same type of thing around your age, I think everyone does at some point until they find out which path they want to take in life. Sometimes rejections are because something just wasn't meant to be, or because it wasn't quite right for us. Rejection doesn't mean that you're not good enough. Maybe that job wasn't good enough for you? 

    You say "I'm doing okay in life" and that you enjoy driving, you seem to have a close relationship with your Mum too. These are valuable things, things YOU made happen. Within these things are so many of the good things about being you that might be hard to see clearly right now, when you're feeling so bad about this latest rejection, but they're still there waiting for you to recognise them. Recognise that you are a good and decent and worthwhile person with valuable things to contribute to the world and that it sometimes just takes trial and error, rejections and changes of direction, to find out where your own path in life will lead to. 

    A wise person (who's name I can't remember right now) once said "Sometimes, not getting what we want in life can be a wonderful stroke of good luck". Maybe it's time to think of paths you've not considered before? Try something new, maybe something that builds upon you other skills, likes, passions, or even something that opens up completely new ones?

    Even anger isn't necessarily a bad thing if you decide to channel it into something physical like a new sport or hobby. Personally, I find it difficult to stay angry if I'm exhausted, and doing something physical can empty your mind in a way that seems to make it easier to think clearly. It's worth considering.   

  • Stay strong and know you are aren't worthless and that the right job for you will come to you be patient 

  • I have had rejections when applying for jobs.

    I find job interviews very frustrating. They, mostly, try to test the verbal communication skills. My verbal communication skills are very poor.

    I am extremely anxious and stressed out.

    But there are other things I am excellent at.

  • I'm actually doing software for banking accounting... need I say more?

  • Programming, software development, that's a field that worked well for me. Anything with limited human interaction...

    you're not alone, I recently failed a test at work in a field outside informatics. It's just not my thing.