Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello. As the title says I'm new to this forum. I'm currently seeking an Aspergers diagnosis as I feel many of the female aspergers traits fit with me. Went to see my gp a few weeks ago. Thought I was going to have a job to convince him so was really nervous but to be fair he did take my concerns seriously and referred me to the mental health team for assessment. I have an appointment this week with the mental health nurse. For the past couple of weeks I have been really struggling with low mood and anxiety which I feel affects my work. I work in healthcare as a nurse and although I believe I am great with patients I really struggle interacting with my colleagues who probably at best see me as odd/aloof or just don't get me at all/see me as useless. I love my job and I'm terrified I might loose it as I've only had it for 6months. I've not mentioned to my managers that I suspect I have aspergers as I don't feel comfortable doing this without a formal diagnosis but I am anticipating a long wait to be assessed. Last year I experienced bullying at work which caused ptsd like symptoms. I had to take time off and had counselling to work through the anxiety.
Does anyone have any advice on discussing the situation with my employer? Am I right to leave things until after I get assessed?
Anyway I'll stop rambling on now. I'm hoping I will find some support and reassurance from this forum as I go through this process.
Thanks for reading x
You've said you've been in the job for 6 months.
How long have you known your manager for, and do you trust that person, or are you unable to say for certain that your manager will fight your corner if required?
If you wouldn't feel comfortable approaching your manager, what about someone else in the organisation who is in a position of authority?
In my last role, there were quite a few individuals who sought me out over the years for a quiet chat about things. Some needed help and advice. Others just needed someone to listen to them. Initially, it was people I'd worked with or managed in the past, who had then gone on to other things. Then I had people coming to me because they'd been advised to by the first lot! Somehow, I always made time for people, because it was the right thing to do.
If I was in your shoes, I suppose I would write down the options (tell them / don't tell them), along with all the pros and cons of each.
Of course, you don't actually have to mention Aspergers. One possibility could be to schedule a few minutes with your manager to explain that you are going through a difficult time right now, and you thought you ought to let them know, just in case the situation might temporarily affect your performance at work. You could perhaps add that you've been proactive by seeking medical help, and that you'll keep them informed if you have any updates they need to be aware of.
By framing the discussion this way, there's a good chance your manager will respond with something like,
"Many thanks for letting us know. I really appreciate your honesty. Is there anything we can do to help and support you?
Naturally I don't wish to pry into your personal life, but if the problem is something at work, I will need to know a little bit more to be able to help. If for some reason you don't feel comfortable discussing the issue with me, you could approach <<my boss>>, or perhaps <<appropriate/friendly person in HR>>.
Are you aware of our free and confidential employee assistance helpline? Please keep us informed and do come back to us if you later think of something that might help."
At least, that's what *I* would have said...
Good luck.