undiagnosed and struggling

Hi Everyone

I am new to the page but I am in desperate need of help. My son is 12 and we have been through the process and been thrown out of the other side. The problem is his primary school lied in the MDT meeting we had to try to see if a diagnosis could be reached. This lead to the paediatrician and the ed psych not being able to offer a diagnosis and so discharged us. This means we are once again on our own unable to cope with his outbursts. Don't get me wrong he is a clever and kind boy. But we have periods of anger and stubbornness that we can not control. We have two younger children who he winds up constantly and home life is more like a battle ground and it all depends what kind of day he has had at school. He has just moved to secondary school and I feel we are starting again. We were told we would only get a diagnosis is he exhibited behaviours in two areas ie school and home. But as he copes at school and only displays his frustration at home he can not be on the spectrum. 

I really want to be able to support and help my son, but feel we are on our own and don't know where to go for help and advice. can anyone help me?

Thank you xxx