My son whose 10 was diagnosed on thurs with ASD Im currently a bit lost with it all any tips or advice greatfully received xx
Hi, my son isn't on the spectrum but I am so it's kind of the other way around, however, I would probably say, take some time to get to know more about ASD, be kind and gentle with yourself and your son, join a local support group for parents of autistic children, the support and friendships you will make will be priceless. Your son is very lucky, he has a mum who is willing to do what she can to support her son and in return, you will be rewarded in so many wonderful ways. Don't be alone with this, there are so many more parents out there going through the same thing. I'm also a bit lost with it all, I only got my diagnosis last week but already I joined a local support group and thankfully, after a terrible morning, I found this site. Autism has many positive aspects, if we allow them to show themselves and if we nurture and nourish them but we are in the minority so we do need support. It's early days, you've come this far without a diagnosis so think about how much further you will get, with a diagnosis. You've already done the hard part, which is reaching out, the scary part is over, well done for that. Lots of love and hugs X
Thank you so much for your reply its a whirlwind of emotions most of all guilt :( the DR told us to not feel guilty but its hard not to. His dad and i are separated to its making sure we are all on the same page so to speak.
Oh yes, guilt is the number one emotion and it's ridiculous to say don't feel it but i'm sure your doctor means well. You will feel less and less guilt as you get to know more about ASD. You will be filled with all sorts of emotions but they will all gently leave you as you learn more. There's no rush though, truly, the first thing you have to do is to remember and remind yourself to be kind to yourself and give yourself time and permission to feel these feelings, to accept them and with acceptance, they will naturally leave you. What we resist, persists and we are entitled to our feelings anyway, it does us no good to deny them. I write things down as a way of processing feelings and I take walks in nature and long bubble bath's, whatever I need to do. It will all work out, I promise you that and if his dad is on board with supporting your son in the best way possible then that's even better, involve him all the way and don't be afraid to ask for support, you will need it too.
You speak so much sense thank you. Ive cried a lot the last few days but its good to know we arent alone.
Yeah, it definitely helps to know that we're not alone and I don't see crying as a negative. For me, it's actually a form of communication. For example, if I get too tired or too hungry, I can still cry, just as I assume I did as a baby and although I don't indulge in crying just for the sake of it, I honestly do think it does us good. I think it is helping us process what's going on. Sometimes we can't logically or intellectually understand what's going on but by crying, we are at least acknowledging something and it keeps the energy moving. I think you would be devoid of feelings altogether if you didn't cry and feel those emotions such as guilt, fear, worry, overwhelm, confusion etc etc. As mothers, we take responsibility for our children and of course we want the best for them so when someone throws us a curveball like this, our first response is, what did I do wrong and then, on my god, what next, what does this mean! But your life is going to change in so many beautiful ways and with your support, your son is going to do just as well. There are many positive aspects to being autistic and having an autistic child, once we understand what we're dealing with. It doesn't mean that we will always get things 'right' but having this awareness makes life a whole lot easier so we can at least be thankful for the knowledge and understanding that is now available to us and we are all learning, we're all on this journey together so we might as well make it a good one :-)