Hi am new to this been diagnosed this summer with Asperger's at age 51 always struggled to make friends be nice to at last make some on here maybe, I find it very hard to interact with people have no friends and am on my own all time, I am in East Lancashire area I am Mike hello to everyone
Hi, I am also new here and also got diagnosed with Asperger's last week at age 50 and although I have got a lot of 'friends', I also spend most of my time on my own! I guess I'm tired of simply 'fitting in', it's exhausting and is of no real interest to me anyway.
Hi thanks for message I find I get terribly lonely always on my own and this makes my depression worse, do you get lonely ? I don't want to fit in have always felt different and won't change just to fit in, I know I am a good person with good qualities I just want to be understood and treated with respect I was bullied at school and work and not worked now for 16 years
What is your name please ?
Hi, sorry, yeah, my name is Neikka. I get lonely sometimes, even though I do sometimes prefer to be by myself and sometimes I simply need to be by myself. I have never been bullied but that's because I did a good job of fitting in. I have had lots of different jobs, including social worker and mental health practitioner but I haven't worked for several years now. I think I've been experiencing burn out although I am slowly, very slowly coming out of it. I just joined a local support group for autistic people which was really good, I really enjoyed it, just being around people where I could just be me and not have to explain myself was very calming. I've only been once so haven't got to know them all yet but looking forward to going back next week.
You have done well with the jobs you have had and joining a group I am so anxious about doing anything different I find life exausting most the time I find it too hard mixing with people social but can cope with one or two people
Your name is nice where are you from ?
Things are not always as they first appear. I started using drugs from a young age to help with social anxiety etc (I didn't know I had social anxiety, I just didn't understand people or the world around me) and they eventually got the better of me, which lead me to get help and from there I did a college course which lead to a degree in social work at university. That lead to agency work as a social worker but even though I could do the job, I couldn't do it. I couldn't cope with the pace of work and being around other people so much but because I couldn't understand it, I kept on going until I finally couldn't do it any more. I used to have breaks in between jobs and being an agency worker I also knew I could leave at any time, so that helped. I can socialise, to a certain degree, but I have been doing it for so long, because I didn't know what else to do, that I don't want to socialise at all any more, although I am getting a little stir crazy from time to time. And the autism group is a dream - just being able to be me, without any explanations and know that other people get me. It's really rewarding, I highly recommend such groups. I'm from Yorkshire although I have lived several places in this country, from the north to the south, in the Isle of Man and also Bali and Australia and I'm currently back in my home town in Yorkshire. I'm currently experiencing burn out so I'm exhausted most of the time and I've barely been out the house in the past year. At times I didn't think I was ever going to get out of this burn out stage but I am slowly coming out of it but it's taking a lot of effort and with no support from anyone, it hasn't been easy.
I know what you mean about doing a job but not realy doing it as in it is such a strain as I used to work in a potato factory it was hard work but I like physical work but I was always being told off and being abusive I used to smash the potatoes up in anger ! So was bits of potatoes flying all over factory ! I couldn't cope with mixing with people every day I couldn't follow conversations get jokes or fit in eventually I had to stop working and started seeing mental health people for severe anxiety severe depression panick attacks anger self harm etc, but all missed that I had a form of Autism until this year and am now seeing a Specialist counseller
That's funny ~ not that you struggled at work, because I know exactly what that's like and it's definitely not funny, but the bit about potatoes flying all over the place, because I've recently been thinking of making a potato gun! I read about them and got interested in making one although I haven't got round to it yet. I have had several jobs, but they never last long, I leave before I break down or they sack me. I have been in and out of therapy since I was 16 but nobody ever knew what was wrong with me. Looking back, it was obvious (with hindsight) but who knows, maybe I have been better off this way. I'm the same, don't get jokes, can't read people, don't get their conversations, they bore me, I say inappropriate things and say random things that nobody gets but smoking cannabis for years really helped and when I was in the sub culture of the drugs world, it really helped because we didn't say much and sometimes we would just grunt! lol! so that suited me just fine but learning the new languages of the places that I worked was exhausting and no matter how good I thought it was at first, I could never sustain anything but I didn't know why. People just think I'm work shy or something but that's not true, I just don't do well working with lots of people, even though I'm quite an outgoing person and now I know the cause of it all, I can work out a way to earn money that doesn't involve me spending time in an office with other people. So that's what I'm working on now. That's great that you're seeing a specialist counsellor, I would love to see one. The guy who diagnosed me is kind of helping me but he's not seeing me for another month and he's really busy diagnosing the whole of the area and I don't think he's a specialist counsellor.
It's hard getting the right help it is very poor for Autistic adults who are not severe autistic like me and you but it is still bad enough trying to cope with what we have it upsets me so much I feel I need so much help I can't work cant make friends had 4 major relationships end I recently cut my arms quite bad self harming I just want to be happy
I know, I don't buy into being 'mildly' autistic, I think you either are or you aren't and no matter how it appears outwardly, its f*****g hard. I may pass as semi normal but that's not even half of it. I feel like I'm walking through fog half the time, or like I'm constantly stunned or something but people don't see that and I wouldn't know how to tell them anyway as I didn't even understand it. I haven't had many relationships, at first I didn't even want one, I just wanted one so I didn't look so odd but now I would like one but this past year has been spent mostly in the house by myself and just now I'm more interested in working out what makes me happy and how I can support myself financially and do the things I love doing, such as being outside in nature, in the woods, up mountains, or out on my bike, that sort of thing.
I like nature and walks will you accept me as a friend on here please ? I tried requesting it but don't think it worked am struggling to get used to it on here at moment not easy just on phone I want a relationship also just a close loving relationship with someone that accepts me as me and doesn't judge or put me down like my last girlfriend did