Hello. Recently diagnosed (late) and less than 5 people know so far - and my animal.
Deluge of flashbacks from childhood, and not great things I'll just say (traumatic) - the whole flashback thing is new to me. Perhaps triggered by one of the assessment questionnaires - the one that assessment exposure to traumatic events for possible PTSD. It made me realize how many times some things occured. I don't have PTSD, tho, despite the score, which is good.)
The flashbacks are really inconvenient and keep occuring so it looks like I have to get help for that now too. For someone who never thought to get help and never realized i wasn't "neurotypical" (<--new word) - it's a lot to process.
Is it because my mind NOW understands why/how those things could have happened, so it's causing me to remember them so I can process them in light of the diagnosis?
DID/does ANYONE ELSE deal with the flashback thing after the looong assessment process?
Yes, every hour nearly, it is painful and hard to cope with. I have just had the diagnosis and its like my brain has gone into overtime trying to help me understand and make sense of so much
I have been told it will calm down but will take time
I can't wait, its exhausting
Hope it calms down for you soon too
As if we don't have enough to cope with !!
I have flashbacks when opening up the past - I can see, hear, feel and smell the situation just as it was - the thing I deal with more is intrusive thoughts - usually another person's incorrect opinion, or abusive vue on me or something I apparently did wrong.
now I'm trying to build a new life without these people.
please be kind to your inner self that's trying to heal - those people and experiences for me were wrong and painful - so it takes time and care to remould it - I hope your healing goes well x
I get this a lot, even more so now when I have to think back and remember things from my past. More and more stuff keeps emerging and I get quite distressed from it. I'm hoping it will subside eventually
Me too. Though my diagnosis was a year ago so it has settled.
Thanks - similar to me. I am literally back in time at those moments. I aim to heal no matter what it takes. It takes so much tho.
I can relate to the mental overtime. Typically I research topics to death. The new topic is autism. The turret is turned inward! I am newly diagnosed and same age as you. It's like having to refactor everything to understand it with a new lense. Snowfield I do believe it will indeed calm down; I have to believe it :)
Same. A refactoring process for me. Silly simple things I got scolded or correct for as a kid.. like obsessing over clothing tags, crying when I had to endure the vaccuum cleaner noise, knowing in sort of a factual way that people were talking but not hearing it as words etc. and then getting in trouble or offending someone for 'not listening' well enough. Lots to understand differently. Same person as before the diagnosis, but no longer have a random list of seemingly unrelated oddities.
My brain seemed to start making a catalogue of experiences as soon as a began reading Laura James' book Odd Girl Out. Just recognising some of the experiences she writes about - " Yep, I do that, and that, and that..." and carried on for days, remembering things! Then settled down. Not as disturbing as your more 'sensory' PTSD recall (if I can put it like that) Amber. More just a case of feeling embarrassed and depressed really.
Fuschia, do you still get feeling sad or embarrassed about being different? I get feeling embarrassed still but that is because no one around me knows the diagnosis. It would be neat to learn other people's quirks; maybe reading that book will do the same for me.
I read an NIH article that discussed hyper-systematizing as being the tendency for folks on the spectrum. This is of course what I do non-stop but the surprise was for me to learn others really don't. So, systematizing, plus sensory overload, plus translation into and out of words during social interactions.. mental exhaustion is now explained :)
As I age, I am less able to camouflage; people can see the gears at work. Awkward.