Whenever I get close to people they leave. I cannot hold a strong, close friendship with anyone for more than a couple of years as they always end up leaving me. Unfortunately, my mental health falls apart whenever this happens, my depression and anxiety gets a lot worse as I always feel that there is something wrong with me or that I am a horrible person.
Just wondering if anyone else feel this way?
mother walked out when I was 14
then after a couple of years moved in with her
tgen she kicked me out
2 years homeless
1 x failed marriage
mother hasn't spoken to me for 3 yrs
....nor has my sister
it is tough, isn't it...fear of isolation, fear if trying to bond with others..
unfortunately my self worth/esteem has now whittled yo nothing and leads me at risk if being exploited by others as I crave acceptance xxx
Sorry to hear that and yes its so hard. A part of me wants to be on my own but a huge part of me craves acceptance, I just hate the thought of people not liking me for any reason. Unfortunately my self esteem is rock bottom too which means I get easily depressed and upset. Also doesn't help that I care way too much about what people think of me and I am so sensitive as well as being very oversensitive to my emotions. It really is horrible isn't it... the desire to just be accepted by the people you love and anyone generally, just to feel slightly less alien. xxx
I also fear getting really close to people now because every time I do I end up getting hurt. Sometimes I feel like it would be so much easier on my own, separated from the rest of the world, as then no-one could hurt you.
Holly as a 55 year old male I to have exactly the same as you and Ellie,have been let down a few times,been used and taken advantage of.
I want nothing more in life than someone who understands me,the real me.I am extremely fortunate to have a very patient wife,I am not easy to live with but she manages somehow.poor girl.
I gave up looking for a true best mate long ago,Maybe my expectations were to high?
However it may sound small but meeting other folks on here that really know what I am has been the best thing ever, honestly we have up days and down days,yes we can be sensitive and fragile.But we support each other through the ups and downs.
I have a spare hug if you would like? () that's an autistic hug btw,hug,
Thanks Lonewarrior and its great because everyone here understands and are really supportive. Everyone supports each other which is really nice. () xx
If you want to meet nice females then introduce yourself in the current thread with the non seriouse title that has heffalumps and skinny beans in it,Warning it may contain nuts!(joke) .
Think I might do that. Thanks again xx
What does it mean if one of your friends is talking to your other friends but completely ignoring you?
Have you tried talking to them first and just having a chat with them? This worked for me, at least helped me understand, maybe it will for you too. x
Yes unfortunately I have tried but didn't really get anywhere. She just replied with something like I just need space then walked off. Don't get me wrong I understand she needs space but needing space and completely blocking someone out and not talking to them are different things. Also the space thing was also directed towards my other friends who she IS talking to. So I am so confused and hurt and don't really know what to make of it. x
As for the other friend, the issues were not as major and it only happened recently so not too worried about that rn
It is really difficult but your ASD will be different from hers...she might have other things going on that meant though she might want to engage she can't. We found here there we have a small pocket per day of emotional engagement (it is a balancing act)....sometimes we have to retreat to recover so we don't damage ourselves....even though it might let down others x
Mmmm... But I still don't understand why she is talking to everyone else other than me (even some people who she doesn't particularly like)? x
True....are you strong enough to leave her be at the moment? I know one of the big issues is us types over analysing everything......ASD is such a frustration, isn't it?
Yes but unfortunately it really hurts and yes ASD is so frustrating. It has its benefits but sooo many downsides...
It really hurts but tbh I'm used to that (not from her in particular just in general with friendships/people). I think the main problem is not understanding why she is doing it, because annoyingly one of my strongest traits is having to know the answers and understand everything. I also over analyse everything too all the time which isn't great either...
Do you think you'll be able to find friends here? Does this feel comfortable?
I think so, its really helping going on here so hopefully x
I'm sorry you are going through this. Hopefully things will work themselves out but if it doesn't just know that you will be a lot stronger. x