This is the lowest I've felt since mum passed away in April.

I know it's a new situation, which is bound to be unsettling.  I know it takes time and adjustment.  I know I'm probably over-reacting to some of the more negative things that have happened this week.  I know I need to give things time, etc, etc, etc.

But my gut instinct isn't good.  I dread going in.  Today, I'm working with the shouty matriarch.  I'm just glad it's the weekend.

I certainly don't feel like I want too much more of this.

  • I've been reading some of your recent posts and I can emphasise with some of your dilemmas.   But cannot provide any constructive help or advice.

    I'm feeling very low myself, so I will lay out my recent problems.

    I'm very short of money so I'm working full time trying to find work that actually pays.

    The multiple agencies helping me are making matters worse.

    1.  Job centre is ordering me to do 35 hours directed and specific job search related activities or they will sanction me.

    2.  One activity is twice weekly meetings with a subsidiary of REED which "helps" the long term  unemployed (unemployable).  I dread the meetings there.  There is no privacy or confidentiality when discussing matters.  The advisors are bullies and in an open office with people so close together I don't need to eavesdrop to hear what other people are saying.

    This week there was a client on his first meeting, an elderly gentleman looking very feeble and vulnerable explaining that he has multiple health problems such as diabetes etc.  The advisor shouted at him.




    3.  I have another work related advisor from a mental health charity.  I should be meeting him once a week. But he has cancelled and missed meetings.  I suspect he has personal problems.  His suggested is self employment.  Since my past employment history is so "colourful".

    4.  Local council has forced me to attend regular work search related meetings or they will stop paying my council tax support.    His big idea is to do volunteering.

    So I'm getting a lot of help and advice.  But little results from it.

    My big problems are lack of recent references.

    Big gaps in employment.

    Explaining or covering up bad physical health and illnesses.  Such as heart failure, anaemia.

    Explaining mental health problems such as my autism, breakdowns and multiple suicide attempts.   Or should I cover these up and make no mention of them?

    Rant over.

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