Published on 12, July, 2020
please can anyone advise, I'm desperate and can't believe I'm publicly saying this. My son is 24 ADHD with Asperger since 5yrs, his mental health is at it's all time low, he has self harmed since the age of 7 and now I'm worried for that knock on the door to say he's dead.
Im even starting think he's better of dead and he's begging for me to just let him go, I'm the one who's keeping him here and he doesn't want to keep this existence anymore. I'm starting to consider the next time he threaten to commit killing himself I'm not going to try a plead with him.
Hes had throughout his life false promise of help and support. He's been waiting for counselling for years although we have tried and paid privately but unfortunately they couldn't do much due to his Asperger. He just keep getting let down and abandoned. He's been committed once for two weeks under the mental health to be told it's not serious enough over dosing on every medication you could get, the slashes on his body but apparently he doesn't have a mental health condition. He's worried that if he doesn't get help soon he may hurt others not intentionally but the thoughts that run through his head because he doesn't want to live anymore. He scared of the police I can't turn to them, my local mental health team feels it's just a cry out for support but really can't offer much. He's now taken to smoking cannabis to self medicate for the past 4 yrs wants to stop but can't because of the things that run through his head. He want to go somewhere desperately to try and change such as respite maybe a week or more to help him learn wants going in his head and help him learn to manage. If he was on heroine or harder drugs he can get help. If he drinks acholcol he can get help. I've looked at private place which there are some offering everything he needs at a cost of 5, to 8 thousand. I don't have that money.
Please help I've never registered his autism but he does have a confirmed diagnosis if there any place that can offer him help. If this continues I'm afraid I would rather see my son in peace. I won't stop him next time.
julie
Hello Julie
I've responded to your other post, but just in case I've copied it here
I know a year has passed since your post but I was moved by your plea for help and wanted to let you know about our new organisation in Mid Wales called Dal Dy Dir. Dal Dy Dir has entered into a partnership with Forest Cottages to provide respite help to families with disabilities. Dal Dy Dir understands that the cost of placing an individual into a care facility for a short period of time can be prohibitive, both financially and in terms of stability within the family setting so it has created a 6 day short term planned and emergency placement at their primary location based in Mid Wales.
The family is assigned a personal Coach Specialist who will contact the family prior to the break to ascertain their personal, physical and emotional requirements. From this, a bespoke programme of activities and support is planned for the week. Coaching, counselling and crisis intervention are all part of the interventions on offer and are not only for the individual but also for the family as a whole. This means that we can target wider issues within a family context and develop plans for when families return home.
In addition Dal Dy Dir also works with young people in the longer term by its provision of recognised courses for young adult volunteers who can study towards a Diploma in Land Conservation accredited by Aberystwyth and Harper Adams Universities. I don't know your location or current situation, but if we can be of any help, then do please get in touch. Our website has information about us which I hope you will find of interest at www.accessiblebreakswales.co.uk.
Thank you, I've tried the ed and they just send him home saying they will put help in and nothing ever comes of it, it's also very difficult for me as I work in a senior position in my local hospital. I've even spoke to the mental health team, but they say there so over stretch and I come away just as helpless. M all but hanging in. I know I need support but I really can't find the time for helping my son daily. I'm worried I'm won't stop crying I've probably got more chance of being put into respite than my son.
Thank you for replying I need to of load
Julie, you need to go yourself to your local ED and see the duty psychiatrist. Tell them you can't cope anymore.
You need to register your son as disabled with DSS and the local authority.
If your son is at serious risk of harm your duty of care is to call the Police. Yes he is scared of them. Yes, they will probably use restraints, but keeping his problems within the scope of what community mental health services can see isn't getting him or you what he needs.
If you need urgent emotional support contact the Samaritans on Freephone number 116 123 Please phone the Samaritans just to talk to someone they are there 24hrs and are very kind. They are good listeners.
Also contact your local Warwickshire Mind group https://www.cwmind.org.uk/ they may be able to help.
Im sorry you are having such a tough time