HELP! I need advice about my employee

I currently employ a lovely young chap of 19. He is an apprentice and has been working with the company for about 4 months. What we originally believed were excentricities are now becoming more noticably signs of Asperger Syndrome. He shows pretty much most of the classic signs. We have asked him to tell us about his medical history but there has been no diagnosis. My staff find him quote difficult to deal with at times as he has ritualistic behaviour which can result in mild arguements, repetive physical behaviours which interfer with his work and many occassions where he has been unable to empathise. To be honest we do not know what to do. My partner and I are both ex teachers and have both had experiences of working with children who have asperger syndrom. He is quite typical of the children we have seen. We feel that if we knew that he had it then we could accomodate his behaviour better..at the moment he leaves us and our staff frustrated an confused by his actions. By knowing we would be able to adjust and accomodate. The main question is "what can we do to help him and thereby help us?" I need to know if he he has the syndrome (although I am pretty sure that he does) and what I can do to support him if anything...?

  • I am responding to this post although it is quite old. I just wanted you to know that, as somebody with several members of family with ASD, I feel you should be congratulated that you are showing concern and interest in this young man and are trying to help him. So many employers, who don't understand ASD lose patience very quickly and excuses are made in order to get rid of the person concerned. This happens even with a known diagnosis. Life can be extremely challenging in the workplace not just for the person with ASD but also other employees who have no understanding or experience of working with somebody who has the condition. People will be people sadly and so often I have seen people with ASD begin work, manage for a short period of time until other employees find the going to tough or incomprehensible and then the situation can get very unpleasant indeed for the the person concerned. I do hope you find a way to make things easier for both you and you employee.

  • As I said before, the diagnosis process is a long one (mine took about nine months but I believe it can take a year or more).

    'Making an allowance for someone the AS is different to trying to deal with someone who hasn't and is 'just being rather difficult' - you have to deal with the situation until he receives a diagnosis (assuming he wants one and can be referred) so why not proceed as though he has Asperger's?

    My final point is that the diagnosis should be for his benefit and not you and your team's benefit. You and your team may indirectly benefit from him having a diagnosis and that is fine.

  • i think it's a lot harder in small companies, because by 'really friendly' you mean 'tightly knit social group who all fit hand in glove' and the biggest weakness of autism is failure to fit in to, read and respond correctly to, social group signals

  • Hello, I've read your post with interest and have this to offer.

    Diagnosis, will not be necessary in order to accommodate his needs, all it will do is confirm your suspicions and really that seems it will satisfy you way more than your employee. Additionally, you can take a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. Hearing that he may have a problem from his employer, could come as a shock or may indeed confirm what he's suspected but hasn't wanted to act on. I suggest you get some professional advice on this before you talk to him about it.

    Your employee, by your account, seems to be a nice young lad, but clearly lacks the understanding of the social etiquette required in the workplace. If, as illustrated, the issues are minor, then I suggest you encourage your other employees to be more tollerent of his behaviour. If, on the other hand, his actions are causing risk of some sort then, that needs to be addresed.

    When asking your employee to not stack the boxes in 5, did you give him the reason. I couldn't see one mentioned in your post. It's not enough to tell a person with ASD that they cannot do something, you have to explain why a different method is required and possibly even the potential consquence of such action. (eg: Boxes may fall and get damaged or hurt someone.) You may need to consolidate that instruction a few times before it's set in his mind.

    'If you take something out of the toolbox, you have to put something back in!'

    As a former teacher you will appreciate this link. It surrounds anxiety and other aspects of living on the spectrum and may give you greater insight into the world of an ASD individual.

    www.youtube.com/watch

    Sarah Hendrickx also has a consultancy in which she assists conpanies with employment/employee aspects, perhaps a call to her will help.

    www.asperger-training.com/.../

    I'm sure that; with the right support, this young lad will be a great asset to your company.

    Hope this is of some help

    Regards

    Coogybear

  • It seems to me that bigbossy has come here for help in working out how to deal with someone whose behaviour is causing real problems in the workplace. The ideal outcome is that the employer becomes enlightened and that their employee finds themself in an understanding and accomodating environment where he can thrive. The endgame should be win-win rather than the friction continuing or worse.

    There are lots of ways that greater understanding can be obtained. That understanding can start with the employers reading all about it and making allowances. Ultimately this will work better if the employee is engaged in the process but it does not necessarily need a diagnosis. Having a label assigned is a big step to take and he may not want any more labels as he may not think that this is beneficial for him. As I suggested before, OH could be engaged to help the situation, I think you are probably able to send him to see an OH doctor who may be able to discuss the pros and cons of diagnosis with him. There is the possibility of a private diagnosis which circumvents the NHS 9-12 month delay. This could be a sound investment for your company to make.

    He may well benefit from additional clarity. He may need to have a rule written down about sharing chocolates. Note that if you make it a rule about chocolate then he may not see that it applies to cakes or biscuits so you have to be more explicit than you might think. I agree with longman about trivial and irrelevant things but I can also see that an incessant tapping could get on people's nerves and create friction and drive everyone else up the wall.

    I have been on both sides of this situation. I once managed a chap, who I suspected had ASD. As an undiagnosed Aspie at the time, I failed to understand and engage with him properly and the situation deteriorated and was very stressful on both sides. Ultimately we both cracked under the strain and we both left that company. In hindsight, a diagnosis may have saved both of our jobs and the collateral damage that we both suffered. An undiagnosed aspie managing another undiagnosed aspie is probably one of the worst employment situations imaginable as the lack of insight on both sides makes for a spectacularly terrible relationship.

  • As someone with an aspergers diagnosis who has worked a lifetime both in industery and education, this thread epitomises the problem many of us have in the workplace.

    There's an apocryphal statement about autism that seems to fit this situation very well: "there's nothing wrong with me - it's other people that are the problem". OK he might have autism, or as has been pointed out, dyspraxia can account for these differences. But it inevitably is other people that seem to have the problem! He probably feels he's managing OK.

    All through my career people would pick up on niggling little things I did, things that really did not matter, but were compiled and presented higher up the system as concern - never amounted to anything of consequence, but kept some NTs busy for hours on displacement activity from what they were meant to be doing.

    So I read bigbossy's concerns:- he ate all the chocolates one time, has ritualistic behaviours that result in mild arguments, he piles orders in stacks of five.........

    If he has not disclosed a diagnosis it is not your responsibility to diagnose him yourself.

    I  can only say my own life experience was of exactly the same trivial mindset, NTs obsessed that someone should be slightly different. Who made you judge and jury over the rest of us? Such self conceit and arrogance.

    Leave him alone, and just ignore minor differences of behaviour. If basically he does the job properly, just a little oddly at times, what's it to you that he isn't a perfect stereotype of your brain pattern?!!

  • Even if he does not have Asperger's, you mention that he has Dyspraxia. There is significant overlap between Dyspraxia and Asperger's, and Dyspraxia can include autistic traits such as social immaturity. So it is unlikely he can really help some of his behaviour, and he might need things explained to him in some detail because it is unlikely he will just 'know' how to behave.

  • You could discuss this problem with your occupational health provider if you have one. Otherwise you could call the "Health for Work Adviceline" see the section on call for help in www.gov.uk/.../employers-urged-to-take-3-steps-to-improve-mental-health

    He may not be aware of his fiddling and tapping and may be unable to do anything about it. In general, you could try and be very positive about encouraging him to do the things you want him to do. Try to avoid criticising harmless activities like lining things up etc.

    There is lots of information about autism spectrum behaviours available on this website and there are lots of books about it.

    Have you read the pages at www.autism.org.uk/.../employers.aspx ?

  • you have misunderstood .....we care a great deal and are trying to make sense of this..if indeed he has it then we shall do our very best to support him. But what is very hard to understand is the odd behaviour....hence we think he may need to be diagnosed which will give answers to our questions....it is not easy....we are a small friendly team who want to make sure he is OK...but it would help them to know that they need to compensate for the behavioural issues....you see at the moment things are just strange...trying to make sense of him...questions such as what are you doings....will you stop fiddling and tapping, leave the items as they are..they do not need to be placed in neat rows...and so on. 

  • NAS8954 said:

    Whilst you cannot make him seek a diagnosis, have you suggested he do so? 

    We have et to speak to him about it and will probably attmept this tomorrow. We have asked him if there are any medical issues we should be aware of and e did keep Dyspraxia secret...we became concerned because his movements were awkward and clumsy and so I did ask him directly...to which he told me he had been diagnosed the previous year.

  • We have not spoken with him about it. The subject has been discussed because we have observed unusual behaviour which has caused issues. For instance, at xmas I brought in a large box of Chocoalte celebration to share. The following day they had all been eaten by our young employee. We asked him why he did not feel it was important to share them and he did not understand..he said he did not know...he simply liked chocolate. When we organise an order for delivery he has developed a ritual for piling the itmes into stacks of 5....having been told not to do this he continues to do so. Every day there are numerous issues we face with him but we do not know if he has Asperger Syndrom because we have no official diagnosis. I am reluctant to say that our staff and at times ourselves have found his behaviour to be very irritating. Making an allowance for someone the AS is different to trying to deal with someone who has't and is just being rather difficult....I suppose we need some advice and support so that we can deal with him in the right way.

  • Agree with Caretwo. Give the guy a break! If he really is a "lovely young chap" but the other staff are frustrated and confused, maybe it is them who need some extra help.

  • Whilst you cannot make him seek a diagnosis, have you suggested he do so? (Regarding the benefits of a diagnosis, you may find, for example, the forum topics 'To all who have been, or are in the process of, being diagnosed as an adult' and 'The Benefits of Diagnosis?' of help.)

    Even if he wishes to receive a diagnosis the process is a long one.

    You state 'we feel that if we knew that he had it then we could accomodate his behaviour better'; why do you feel the need to know before trying to help him? Why not make the reasonable adjustments now?