What are your anxiety coping strategies?

Hi everyone, 

I have been looking into creating a "calm space" in an area of my bedroom. Somewhere to relax and unwind. This will hopefully replace my need to sleep every time I get home from work, which is messing up my already mixed up sleep. I was wondering if anyone else has created a space like this? What do you have in your space? I was thinking of lights, calm music, and things I can balance ( to focus breathing). Also I like items that I can make gentle sounds with. Would be really interested to know what everyone else uses/ does to manage their anxiety.

Have you found any particular strategies that work for you?

Thank you

  • Thank you so much, what you said was really helpful. Really appreciate it Slight smile

  • If I'm feeling overwhelmed and drained, I'll wear my earphones, and my blue light protection glasses (for eye strain), a hoodie, go somewhere with dim lighting, and I just try to tune everything out until I recuperate my energy.

    If I'm feeling anxious, I try to find the cause. If it's from a bad socializing incident, it's hard not to ruminate, but now I try to also think of solutions and create a plan to carry out. If diplomacy does not work (trying to make amends, apologizing, clearing up misunderstandings and so on) and the other person is just not having it and they're still treating me badly, I give up and let them go, say my final farewells, and cut contact with them, because I've done all I can do to try and repair things on my end, but if they keep damaging everything, then there's no point in continuing. It's already hard enough to put in the effort to communicate and maintain eye contact and to socialize, and I'd rather reserve my time and energy to people who actually care about me, instead of people who are bringing me down.

  • Thank you aidie Slight smile

  • me, meditation ( walking, doing, and sitting )

  • Thank you for the hugs. My family are not mean to me. They are unaware of what's going on with me, I'm not sure if I'm trying to protect them, or I'm scared of looking vulnerable, or both.

  • *hugs* do you live with your family? Are they mean to you?

  • The thought of it has got me so excited I've started my silent hand clapping. 

  • Yea! I hope it helps you. You can try out different things within it and find what is helpful to you. I personally love the dark and the feeling of being in a "void" that it creates. 

  • They are on my birthday list, only that's not till December. At the moment I childishly put my fingers in my ears and hum. I'm getting tearful now, it's amazing to be able to say things and not worry about people insulting you for being weird.

  • That sucks that you have a noisy household! Have you tried noise-cancelling headphones?

  • Thank you so much for Sharing your strategies BiteyMite. I never thought of just stimming in a quiet safe place, I've spent forever trying to prevent myself from doing it publicly. I have a selection of noises I like to make also, particularly clicking with my tongue and roof of mouth. I'm going to try this also, sounds like a great release for my pent up emotions. Thank you!

  • I do intentional "stim sessions." I'd like to set up a chair in my bedroom but for now i just sit on my bed for them. 

    When my overwhelm begins to build, and ideally before I get to actual 'meltdown point,' I intentionally  go to my bedroom. I turn off all the lights and close the door. I had previously blacked out as much window light as possible. It is quite dark.

    I put my over the ear headphones on and pick a pre-made stim playlist (personal favs include Billie Eilish, 2Pac, and other moody but upbeat tracks). I hold a 'stimming brush' in each hand (I think they are actually called "corn brushes" or "therapy brushes.")

    Then I just rock. I stroke my brushes. And I focus on *feeling my body.* FEEL all of that crap that is buzzing and swirling and harassing my body. Then, I snap into it somehow, and I just start cryyyying. The intensity of rushing emotion surges through my chest and my arms. I rock harder. I let myself cry out loud. I move all of the JUNK up and OUT of my body. Like if my body were vomiting up the overstimulation. I flap my arms or whatever movement is needed. I make noises. I let my self "dah dah dah," and "nah nah nah," repetitively, along with other noises. I might talk in jibberish. Whatever I feel expresses me in the moment. All while the music thumps. Whatever gets it Ouuuuuuttttt. I often intentionally think of things that are distressing me or are emotionally painful, as a trigger to pull up more gunk. The idea is to FEEL it, and move it all the way up and out. I am in a safe place, the feelings wont damage me. I WILL Survive them!!

    When I've had a good purge, I might naturally begin to vibe to the music. Just hum or start to sing along. I start dancing/moving my hands and arms to the groove. I feel lighter. If I there is more within me that needs release, I may go back and forth between expelling the gunk and soothing myself with the music and peacefulness. Over time, my body begins to sooth so nicely. I begin to feel *majorly* relieved. I focus my thoughts onto gratitude. I bask in the good fortune of knowing about my autism, and the opportunity to learn how to manage myself more effectively. I imagine myself being joyful. I just embrace that I am in that free space.

    Before long, I begin to sense that I am satisfied. That my task is complete. When I feel ready, I leave the room to reenter "life." I feel Soooo Much More Capable. Competent. Energized. Able to handle all the things. And the best part? I have dramatically reduced the likelihood that I will have an *uncontrolled* meltdown somewhere else that is *not* so safe. Like in front of others or in public. 

    This is truly the most impactful skill I have been learning. I hope it might help someone here. :-) 

  • Thank you violetdr3amer Slight smile

  • I have begun listening to calming music, and will add in some incense too. I've tried meditation, I'm sure it would help, except I have a noisy household. Sometimes I wish I had a mute button.

  • Thank you so much again Seanado, I really appreciate your time and wisdom. I never know what triggers me, it always seems unprovoked, but there must be a reason, even if I can't see it. I will start writing things down, and hopefully I will notice a pattern. As with problem people, I think I will leave it to karma to do my dirty work. Slight smile

  • Music, burning incense and herbal tea definitely help with my anxiety, as well as meditation Slight smile

  • I find that there are usually a number of events that come together at once to trigger me. They happen insidiously, without me noticing and it is the combined weight of them all that finally sends me over the edge without me realising I've been ambushed.

    It's critical to analyse what each of these causes are (I often write a list) and consciously ask yourself if they are worth being depressed about by themselves. The answer is nearly always 'no'. If that is the case then you do have to take the conscious step of saying "Then this is all in my head and it doesn't matter". Then you can confidently focus on something more positive.

    If any of them are worth being depressed about then it's time to start evaluating the long term roadmap to their total elimination - unless one of them is a person...then I recommend getting someone else to do the dirty work ;)

    Bottom line: a list gives you perspective rather than just the unquantified 'feeling' of depression and tells you what to address or what to rationally ignore so you can do something more empowering.

  • thank you aidie Slight smile

    It's so calming to be amongst my own and not to worry about people looking for offense in my words, trolling or trying to be dramatic - just straight forward, honest people :)

  • Thank you FSCR, I will give it a try.

  • My daughter has a diffuser which she can use aromatherapy oils in. She uses lavender to help her feel calm to aid sleep. She has one from Muji which also has a light with two different settings. It gives off steam and makes a very gentle noise as it does this. It might help your mixed up sleep too? Good luck

    https://www.mujionline.eu/uk/home-living/home-fragrance?gclid=CjwKCAjwgZuDBhBTEiwAXNofRMzlze7B61J1HnmWsqVZAcm1K1Nbi53h1Buc9560AKOnczftprBroxoCoUEQAvD_BwE