Published on 12, July, 2020
Last week my son told me he was transgender and wanted to be a girl. I am a very easy going person so accept that this is his choice. Obviously it is a shock to hear it when there have only been the tiniest of signs dropped by him over the last few weeks. So I am still having to let the information and everything it means sink in.
The history with my husband is a long and complicated one where I have almost ended in a refuge for the abused. He has never hit me but the mental abuse has been awful. I decided to stay in the end as I didn't want to break up the family and I couldn't figure out if he was actually meaning to be abusive or if it was his autism. Alot of his issues are around control and I just can't decide if this is something connected to autism or his childhood experiences (or both). In my mind if he isn't trying to hurt me on purpose then I should be there for him and not walk out. With this in mind I decided to go to CBT. This really helped me to become stronger and I started to stand up to him. His behaviour has improved but I still have to 'walk on egg shells' around him.
When my son told me he was transgender he insisted that he wanted to go privately as NHS waiting times are too long. We discussed the costs and I told him if he wanted me to pay we would have to tell his dad as it would be unfair on my relationship with his father to ask me to keep this from him when paying for treatment. I understood my sons reluctance to tell him as his dad has no understanding of gay men or of transgender people. My son asked if I would tell him, so last night I sat next to him and told him. He said 'that's all I need!' Then went on to be verbally abusive towards me. He didn't mention my son. He just started picking at me and what I am always doing that is wrong.
I understand that he is upset and he is using me to vent his emotions but I am also having to get my head around what my son has told me. We have not spoken since last night and I have hardly slept and feel so anxious and tearful.
I have so many wonderful and close friends around me but I can't talk to them about it because I promised my son I would not tell anyone. I feel so alone having nobody to talk to and want help but don't know where to turn. Should it be an autism helpline, a transgender helpline or an abuse victim helpline?
Plastic said:Not true. Messing around with hormones at critical times does have real consequences
I've heard this claim before but never seen any evidence to back it up. Given that there is a wide range of ages when non-trans children go through puberty without it causing problems, I'm skeptical that trans children going through puberty later would suddenly cause a problem. Particularly as the same medications have been used for non-trans children for other conditions.
The times when trans children get puberty blockers are where they are more certain about their gender identity and they've experienced gender dysphoria for a long period of time (even longer once you add in the time spent on waiting lists). Given the distress and mental health issues caused by going through a puberty that doesn't match their gender, it would seem that prescribing blockers does less harm than not prescribing them.
pegasus said:puberty blockers
Puberty Blockers sound like something from a horror story. There simply cannot be anything good that comes from blocking the natural maturation process. Nature doesn't make mistakes. We tamper with it at our peril.
'Nature doesn't make mistakes,' is a fallacy. We are nature, things we make and do is an extension of human nature. We can't not tamper with nature when we have to interact with nature simply by existing and being part of nature itself.
Certain feminists are big on calling for equal rights until its equal rights to step into a boxing ring and smash someones brains out or go to war and shoot or get shot at. I didn't hear many of them protesting for women's right to join the sas. No then women are delicate little flowers that must be protected. It's one of the worst kinds of hypocrisy.