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Autism shame?

Vinylsandshells

I didn’t really care when I got my diagnosis. It was what it was, and I lived with it. I did a huge autism workbook with a family friend. It didn’t really matter. 
But recently I’ve become aware of how ashamed I am. I always feel like the child nobody ever wanted to have. The sob story on Britain’s got talent. The problem child.

And I don’t know how to accept it when it’s all in media. I don’t know how to accept it while people still say I’m sorry to my mum if she says something.

Has anyone else experienced this?

Parents

  • I got diagnosed because of the increasing number of problems my Asperger's was causing - I'd reached the limits of my masking.      Since then, the more I understand about myself, the more ashamed and disgusted I am with my Aspergers.       I can now see and feel when people have been / are using and manipulating and bullying me.    I've been treated shockingly over the years by people I had to trust - mainly in the workplace.

    It's that sudden realisation that I'm a joke that hits really hard.       I absolutely understand why there are so many Asperger's suicides.   

  • in reply to Plastic

    As a child I never got it when other kids were winding me up with stupid meaningless or embarrassing questions that I'd innocently answer. I eventually realised I was being baited, but still couldn't understand why they did it. And I've never got the hang of lying. I have to keep going' oh yes, the liars, now I remember.' It is hard, but we must remember that in many ways we are superior to these types - they only value conformity, we are capable of thinking for ourselves, being sensitive, upholding justice and truth.  I found always that I fitted in with various counterculture groups where I did find friendship and understanding.  It is a sad, hard time we are being made to live through but one day it will be better, meantime we have to love and respect ourselves all the more because others don't. Logical, often very intelligent, very emotional, honest - we are essentially Vulcans pre-Kolinahr!  I thought it was about time someone made a Star Trek reference. I also adopted Data the android's technique of writing a new sub-routine to cope with difficult social interactions.  It really works. 

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  • in reply to Plastic

    As a child I never got it when other kids were winding me up with stupid meaningless or embarrassing questions that I'd innocently answer. I eventually realised I was being baited, but still couldn't understand why they did it. And I've never got the hang of lying. I have to keep going' oh yes, the liars, now I remember.' It is hard, but we must remember that in many ways we are superior to these types - they only value conformity, we are capable of thinking for ourselves, being sensitive, upholding justice and truth.  I found always that I fitted in with various counterculture groups where I did find friendship and understanding.  It is a sad, hard time we are being made to live through but one day it will be better, meantime we have to love and respect ourselves all the more because others don't. Logical, often very intelligent, very emotional, honest - we are essentially Vulcans pre-Kolinahr!  I thought it was about time someone made a Star Trek reference. I also adopted Data the android's technique of writing a new sub-routine to cope with difficult social interactions.  It really works. 

Children
No Data