14yr old ASD/ADHD sexualised behaviour

Hello

I presently a desperate mother as I dont know how to help my 14yr old son.  

For the past 1yr+ we have caught our son watching porn on numerous occasions - we have placed blocks, screen times, consequences etc - my husband works in IT so trust me when I say there should be no way round these blocks but my son finds away....we have tried chatting to him, shouting at him, taking things away. We have acted calm, we have acted cross but nothing is helping.  Its increasing in severity now though! He has been caught on a number of occasions pleasuring himself by his bedroom window, curtains open!  We had a report from a neighbour and today my husband caught him pleasuring himself in the kitchen where my 10yr daughter could have walked in or myself - my husband isnt best pleased!   My son says he doesnt know why he does it!  I think it may be a sensory thing - he used to 'hump' the ground as a toddler and I wonder whether it's the same thing - obviously not the porn but the pleasuring 

My son attends a mainstream provision, he is an intelligent boy but in general his behaviour is getting worse.  He worked so well at home during lockdown even completing extension work but since returning in September he has refused to attend at least 80-90% of his lessons - this is his first year of GCSEs and he is falling considerably behind - we are just about keeping him up with the work by doing it at home but this isnt sustainable for him or us - we arent teachers!  

I am really concerned about his behaviours both the sexualised and refusals and generally about his mental health!  We feel like we are treading on eggshells at the moment - not really sure who to turn too or what to do/how to help!

Have any of you come across this with your teenage children?

Apologies for my rambling! 

  • I'm 20 and autistic. I think it's just curiosity about sex because I was very intrigued about sex when I was young. I'm not a parent so this may not be the best advice but I think you should just talk to him about sex maybe when he gets his questions out he may stop. I don't know though.

  • this needs specialised help. Can you ring the NAS helplines below. 

    www.autism.org.uk/.../help-and-support

    I hope they have come across this before.

    My heart goes out for you. Sounds like testosterone gone mad. 

    Heart

  • *Trigger Warning*

    Was he abused as a little boy? I was, and at that age I was hypersexual. At one time I was even coerced by the other boys in my year to grope girls in the playground in exchange for crisps. Then, further on in school, I found myself drawn to the younger girls.

    It's quite likely that there are other mitigating factors; besides Autism.