Finding meaning in life

How do you all make your life feel meaningful? I am 42 single living with parents. No children no great achievements. I wanted to do more but feel life life never got started because mental illness got in the way. I cant save money because I spend when I feel bad which is often. I'm tired of feeling like lofe is going nowhere. 

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  • We didn't get any choice in staying away from Camus at school, as his novels The Outsider and The Plague came up for French A levels. 

    This whole existentialist thing can be quite disturbing for a 17-yesr-old as done say all.hr big existentialist questions come up at this stage of adolescence anyway. 

    Robert Smith must have been on the same syllabus too, hence his first famous hit, Killing an Arab. 

    What I lived about L'etranger was the way Camus emphasises that he was condemned just because he did not respond to life in the way conventional hypocrisy expected him to. He was supposed to be piously cut up about his mother's death, but he wasn't.

    Still, Camus certainly knew how to shock and in retrospect I liked him for that, too. 'My mother died yesterday. Or it might have been the day before, I can't quite remember.'

    As for The Plague, that's got popular again, no prizes for guessing why. I liked him for his humanity and the way he expressed so much disgust for capital punishment. But I first read it at 13.

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