Finding meaning in life

How do you all make your life feel meaningful? I am 42 single living with parents. No children no great achievements. I wanted to do more but feel life life never got started because mental illness got in the way. I cant save money because I spend when I feel bad which is often. I'm tired of feeling like lofe is going nowhere. 

Parents
  • I want to die and the sooner the better. As long as it's painless. I'm bullied every day by violent men. Britain is fascist. My father bullies me every day. When I got my own flat two male neighbours terrorised me. No one cares. I have scars on my face from a time I cut myself with a knife in a few places. My jumper turned red with blood. When I did it I walked to the local pub and stood in the door while I was still bleeding. Suddenly all those hard men fell silent. Nothing really matters but be happy, have a good one.

Reply
  • I want to die and the sooner the better. As long as it's painless. I'm bullied every day by violent men. Britain is fascist. My father bullies me every day. When I got my own flat two male neighbours terrorised me. No one cares. I have scars on my face from a time I cut myself with a knife in a few places. My jumper turned red with blood. When I did it I walked to the local pub and stood in the door while I was still bleeding. Suddenly all those hard men fell silent. Nothing really matters but be happy, have a good one.

Children
  • I'm sorry what your going through. Last night, I wanted to end my life and didn't. I know what its like to be trapped in your head. My dad was abusive in so many ways and ex husband.

    Have you tried getting help? 

  • Are you getting help? There are crisis cafes, crisis text services if you don't want to talk to people in person etc, theres lots of options out there. and a lot of them are trial and error, so if you have tried something before, its always worth trying again. 

    also could I ask that if you are going to talk about self harm and you are going to discribe it, please put in capitals a TRIGGER WARNING (self harm) infront of your text, so that people who are triggered by reading about such things, know to avoid it.