Published on 12, July, 2020
How do you all make your life feel meaningful? I am 42 single living with parents. No children no great achievements. I wanted to do more but feel life life never got started because mental illness got in the way. I cant save money because I spend when I feel bad which is often. I'm tired of feeling like lofe is going nowhere.
I want to die and the sooner the better. As long as it's painless. I'm bullied every day by violent men. Britain is fascist. My father bullies me every day. When I got my own flat two male neighbours terrorised me. No one cares. I have scars on my face from a time I cut myself with a knife in a few places. My jumper turned red with blood. When I did it I walked to the local pub and stood in the door while I was still bleeding. Suddenly all those hard men fell silent. Nothing really matters but be happy, have a good one.
I'm sorry what your going through. Last night, I wanted to end my life and didn't. I know what its like to be trapped in your head. My dad was abusive in so many ways and ex husband.
Have you tried getting help?
Are you getting help? There are crisis cafes, crisis text services if you don't want to talk to people in person etc, theres lots of options out there. and a lot of them are trial and error, so if you have tried something before, its always worth trying again.
also could I ask that if you are going to talk about self harm and you are going to discribe it, please put in capitals a TRIGGER WARNING (self harm) infront of your text, so that people who are triggered by reading about such things, know to avoid it.