I want euthanasia.

It should be legal for people Aspergers. There is no greater gift you could possibly give me than to spare me living the rest of my life in this hell.

You type in anything that google construes as seeking help on how to kill yourself, it's all censored and you get Samaritans and the NHS and all that "get help" crap. It fucking infuriates me. When I'm 40 and my life has still gone nowhere I'm going to go on the dark web. I bet there are real suicide sites that google is hiding and I'll find them.

  • I feel the same many days. Is there any way you can enjoy life on your own terms? What are your interests?

  • I have done research in ways to kill myself. 

    What I learnt is there is no 'good' way to do it. No painless way, no quick way. No way that is 100% certain death. 

    And the idea that I could end up in an even worse situation because of a suicide attempt that didn't work? That is what essentially stops me doing it. 

    'when my life has still gone nowhere...' 

    Do you think life is meant to go somewhere? 

    I know society tells us that if we 'just try hard enough we'll get somewhere' but noticed how that 'somewhere' is always vague? There is no somewhere. There is no 'meant to go somewhere' with life. Life just is. 

    And yea it's pretty ***. But it still just is. 

    Stop looking for somewhere to go. Somewhere doesn't matter. 

  • I might need to keep these lines to hand for the next time the big weight of despair hits.

    Thank you for writing this out.

  • One of the big problems is status quo - it's very difficult to do something very different to everyone else.       Most NTs lead the same lives - they do school, get married, have kids and then become good consumers with lots of debt.    

    Breaking out of this mould is very hard - what kind of life do you think you really want?      Living on a boat?      In a hut in the forest?      Being sectioned so someone looks after you 24/7?        Do you really want a wife & kids?

    If you know that you're as Aspie, how can you turn your life to your advantage?   You don't have to play the same game so ending it early seems short-sighted.

  • i have the same problem. i have autism and it has lead my to being hospitalised because i just want to die. the problem is nothing is 100% i know all the methods i wont give out for obvious reasons, but nothing is 100%. also i struggle with the fact there is no help for people like us, nothing at all. it's a hard life to live thats for sure. 

  • Have felt the same way too and have done the same as you, googling advise on how to die. I've even found the websites that you say google is hiding. Have tried to kill myself a few times. Even now, I can kill myself if I want to as I have a known means to do so. But I stopped after a while because, at least for now, it's not worth it on many fronts. It's not worth getting a medical record that puts you at risk of being sectioned. The means of suicide are really not worth your money when you could be spending it on a good dinner or a good concert. And most of all the people who are making your life hell are not worth your life. I'm not saying that your life is actually great nor that you haven't discovered the good things. Of course you're in a terrible place to want to die, and I wish so much that I could reach my hand to you in real life. I'm just saying the things and people pressing against your neck aren't worth your life. Don't give them that. It's not your fault, not our fault, that we're autistic, so why punish yourself in the ultimate way? And to want to die shows that you do care about your life - you care that it isn't what you'd like it to be. It shows that you do have a vision of what your life should be like - you do have a hope, whether you think it's realistic or not.

    But if that's too much to think about, surely there are some small things that make you smile? What's your favourite movie? Do you like reading? I think you'd enjoy Camus' The Myth of Sisyphus, if you haven't read it already. Or would it help to go hiking or camping, getting away from pesky humanity? Are there goals you've always wanted to achieve but never got around to doing, like learning a new instrument? Please let us know how you're feeling, when you're up to it 

  • Living on a boat or a hut in the forest is a pipe dream. Being sectioned is more likely. You're one of those people who think aspergers is a difference not a disability well maybe for you but not for the vast majority of us and certainly not for me.

  • There is none! I've got a counselor who is or was married to an aspie and has three aspie kids and I'm still not impressed. The only "help" I ever saw that impressed me was a Cambridge educated private psychiatrist. Too bad I don't have a money tree in my garden so I could talk to her every week.

  • I get you completely. it's very difficult. when people tell us that life gets better or to think of more positive things i find it hard because for some of us things don't improve and having a life-long condition where things won't change doesn't help thats for sure

  • I'm intrigued by these reliable means of suicide that you acquired for a princely sum, but I'll leave it to those illegal websites to find out about that.