Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm struggling with pains. Mostly head and stomach pains which are getting worse by each day. They bring with them a feeling of utter lousiness and it’s just ugh I don’t know how much more I can take. I’m all for living life and waiting for things to get better but I believe this is part of my asd and actually may never get better and that is an alarming thought for me. I can’t live life in pain and discomfort not forever. I’ve been having distressing and negative thoughts for a while and have also considered not living for much longer like planning things out. I love my family and I love life but I don’t see the point in being here if I’m unable to enjoy life and currently, the pain and discomfort is making life unpleasant for me and my loved ones. My mood is all over the place. I’m not able to keep it in check and have outburst because of the pain.
I work in a hospital and have seen people die before and I feel envious of those people. The dying process can be unpleasant but the actual dying bit is like switching off a light. At times I dream of that happening for me because there would be no more pain, just peace and bliss. It’s wrong to think this I know but really the pain and feelings I go through every day are getting unbearable and no one seems to be able to or want to help. I've had the pains for the last ten years and now they are so much worse they are making me feel really bad most days.
I don’t see myself being here much longer but I thought I would try this place as you guys are all likely to have experienced this or similar I hope.
I've just had a thought. Could it be a type of migraine?
What you say about the pains being accompanied by "a feeling of utter lousiness" reminds me very much of my own migraine attacks. They seem to make me feel, in some unidentifiable way, much more awful than the amount of pain would warrant. And my GP said that it can involve stomach aches as well as headaches - in children stomach aches are sometimes the only symptom, and the NHS website confirms that it does occur in adults too. Having them every day is uncommon (mercifully), but again it does happen
I think you should ask your doctor about that, in case it doesn't occur to her. If it is in fact migraines, they're a bit tricky to treat but they often can be treated successfully, or at least reduced a lot.
Here's a link to the official NHS patient information page about migraines: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/migraine/ And if you click on "Symptoms" and scroll down a little way to "Additional symptoms" you'll see the bit about abdominal pain. It would be wise to print that off and have it with you when you speak to your GP, or send her the link, in case she doesn't know abdominal pain is a possible symptom and doesn't want to consider it. It'd prove that it's genuine, and anyway I always forget what I'm talking about when trying to explain things to a doctor in a hurry, so having notes is invaluable.
There's also a couple of UK charities who'll give advice if you contact them: https://www.nationalmigrainecentre.org.uk/ and https://www.migrainetrust.org/ .
I hope this helps.