Pain

I'm struggling with pains. Mostly head and stomach pains which are getting worse by each day. They bring with them a feeling of utter lousiness and it’s just ugh I don’t know how much more I can take. I’m all for living life and waiting for things to get better but I believe this is part of my asd and actually may never get better and that is an alarming thought for me. I can’t live life in pain and discomfort not forever. I’ve been having distressing and negative thoughts for a while and have also considered not living for much longer like planning things out. I love my family and I love life but I don’t see the point in being here if I’m unable to enjoy life and currently, the pain and discomfort is making life unpleasant for me and my loved ones. My mood is all over the place. I’m not able to keep it in check and have outburst because of the pain.

I work in a hospital and have seen people die before and I feel envious of those people. The dying process can be unpleasant but the actual dying bit is like switching off a light. At times I dream of that happening for me because there would be no more pain, just peace and bliss. It’s wrong to think this I know but really the pain and feelings I go through every day are getting unbearable and no one seems to be able to or want to help. I've had the pains for the last ten years and now they are so much worse they are making me feel really bad most days.

I don’t see myself being here much longer but I thought I would try this place as you guys are all likely to have experienced this or similar I hope.

Parents Reply Children
  • Hi Chloe,

    Thanks for the suggestions and numbers. I’m hoping I’ll be strong enough to call or email someone tomorrow. The pain is so bad at the moment and my mind is a whirlwind of anxiety and discomfort. Sleeping isn’t good either, I keep waking up feeling dizzy and hot in the middle of the night and then in the morning it’s pain and darkness all day. The bad thoughts are with me all the time. I’m really struggling with it all and I don’t know what to do about it. I want to phone my gp but I’m scared and don’t want her to be angry with me, and I don’t know what I would say. I’m not good at speaking with people. I find it hard finding what to say. I do want to get better again but I don’t know how to get there or make it happen.