Paranoia

Does anyone here suffer from a tendency towards paranoia?  I suffer from it a lot, particularly in situations when I have to conform and blend in.

If people are talking or whispering, I assume it's about me.

Even strangers who pass in the street - if they smile or whisper to each other I worry it's about me.

I guess I worry that I am so bad at picking up social cues, I am the butt of everyone's jokes  - or - missing out on important information.

Having a really awful day today, tried to cheer myself up posting some silly things but I feel like a stupid dork and want to harm myself now.

  • Yes, that's a biggie with me.  I get tangled up in some quite bad misunderstandings because I take everything literally. Is there any other meaning ? ;-)

  • thanks for your input. That is another good perspective: knowing you are different and not conforming to everyone's whims can make you a target. 

  • I really think that our difficulties in reading other people’s intentions is a massive contributor to paranoia in anyone with ASD.

  • In that case, it sounds like you’re tired at the end of the day and instead of saying to yourself when you get home, ok, I’m tired, it’s been a busy day for me, so I now need to do something that will help relax me, such as listening to relaxing music through headphones or whatever it is that relaxes you, instead of simply allowing the mind to run wild.

    This is not easy, I’m currently working on it myself, but you’ve got a good start - you’ve identified that it happens most often in the evenings when you’re alone and the day is done. So it could be helpful to begin to build some relaxation strategies into your day, for example, as soon as you get home you do x,y or z ~ whatever it is that helps you to wind down and what I’m finding is, that when I do that, I don’t even need to ruminate on the day, all the conversations I’ve had etc etc ~ sometimes I can see those thoughts going through my mind but because I’m so relaxed I can allow them to just be and when I don’t pay attention to them they don’t harm me. 

    For me, what I’m finding is that I’m going to have to create/build/find strategies that work for me that I can build into my daily routines to enable me to be more relaxed and minimise and eventually even prevent this cyclic obsessive thinking I get into which can often look like paranoia and always involves me giving myself a hard time. Good luck 

  • Do you take things literally?

    I do and when certain comments are used then the insecurity/paranoia builds up.  If something is said that can be taken the wrong way then do not say it especially to someone that has Black/White logical thinking.

  • Absolutely. I don't gossip either and miss a lot of stuff going on (but hey-ho). And yes, I feel left out sometimes.

  • thank you.  Over the years, I would admit that I got this information from others, maybe I wouldn't know it otherwise. But it is good to be aware. 

  • Yeah, paranoid in certain work situations due to being different (not one of and clique and hating office/team politics).  With what I am now going through, after the past three years, and the documented information from work then it is clear I am being victimised.  It is the little things that I catch them out on due to having an amazing memory.

    Dare I say the toxic bullying manager has really harassed a disabled person.

  • I am also definitely paranoid.

    The fact that you are self aware of your own paranoia is a good sign.

  • hi, thanks for your reply.  Yes, in the workplace it can be toxic.  Sometimes I think they are plotting to make me redundant or exclude me from interesting projects. I don't really pick up vibes properly and often I'm the last to know about something because I don't engage in gossip. There is often 1 true reason here or there for the paranoia that generates  99 more false ones.

  • Hi,

    yes. I get it especially when on bad days. Though I've cued myself to try recognise it as just a product of my AS and go through a 'reality check' So I don't believe I'm clinically paranoid, it's just many years of social difficulties as others in this thread have also said.

    Bad days can also make me feel there are bad vibes going on somewhere nearby- in the workplace mostly. It makes me stressed and very insecure. 

  • Exactly, it is very hard to understand people's intentions and I suspect my clumsiness in this area is a big contributor. 

  • Thanks for your detailed reply. I like the idea of standing tall. Most of my paranoia happens at night when I'm alone, ruminating over the events of the day and beating myself up about it. But I will try working on this when I get some energy back. My workload is crushing me at the moment. 

  • Thank you, and it's a catchy song (playing in my head now) 

  • Thanks for bothering to write a long helpful comment.. , yes it really is an irrational feeling but hard to control none the less

  • Definitely! The first time that word really turned up in my world was with the release of the Black Sabbath LP, Paranoid. I enquired the meaning of the word, but to be honest it was already blatantly obvious from the lyrics. My immediate feeling was that I too tended to paranoia. I won't bother to describe its effect, which others here have detailed already. But I still figure that I am just a shade more paranoid than some others; even with my tendency to brush these things off with humour.

  • I do occasionally get paranoid, though not as much as I used to when I was younger. It's usually in a situation where I can't judge another person's intention or something strange is happening and I don't understand why! 

    I spent a lot of years training my mind not to assume that other people think bad things of me or are talking about me, I'm sure that there are many things other than me that they could be thinking or talking about.

  • Does anyone here suffer from a tendency towards paranoia?

    Yes, Me, but My advice is "Paranoia" is a thing to learn about and to heed, just like any other Sense - just like Sight or Hearing: If One hears or sees something coming to engage You, then that is the time to pay attention and perhaps to Act... or in this case, "be paranoid". Paranoia is also often dismissed by others, just like "over-sensitive" sight or hearing, too... because it is aimed at Yourself, others can dismiss it as "just imagining things", because what happens is likely not aimed at *them*...

    I hope this is so far understood. I shall say some other things, mostly about My own experience(s) now. *External* matters are the cause of paranoia, as if something had occurred to trigger that awareness, and keep it so high a concern. Just like having once being partly blinded or deafened, there is an awareness there. The BIG problem & trick is to "manage" it, and learn from it...

    There is a difference between Paranoia and *Justified Paranoia*. If beginning, start simply, by not projecting it or assuming it of all others --- e.g. "stand tall and ignore others". When the paranoia is justified, then pay quick attention to the feeling and get used to it. People who really are whispering or plotting against You, will usually show it via body language or actions. Then learn about that and see what happens, and even if nothing happens just then, remember it and get used to it.

    ...I cannot really advise much more, since everyone is different and this leads onto lots of different topics (e.g. body language, gestures, bullying, etc.) But I am posting this anyway, to mostly say to not dismiss things totally but rather to take into perspective direction towards a learning situation. 

  • I get paranoid.

    I was bullied and laughed at a lot in school and now people did whisper about me and then laugh, point etc. 

    So it’s hard not to assume it’s about myself when I see people whispering. 

    Sometimes for some surreal times in my life i’ll Manage to convince myself that support workers are against me along with all my neighbours and everything they do and say is a set up. 

    I’ve been told most people are too busy inside their own heads to be whispering and watching me or whatever. The more I observe of people the more i’m Starting to realise there is some truth to this. I’m not always convinced by this, but if I keep reminding myself of this I can let go of the idea they might have been talking about me. 

    On the other hand I also try to think, “so what if they are?” Let’s just assume for a second they are, would I change for them? And in some instances can I even change for them? 

    For example my my sister takes the mick out how I react to greetings of extended family and sometimes strangers. I’m not entirely sure what is so weird or funny about the way I am being. All I know is that i can’t help whatever i’m Doing because it’s just the way I am. She says I say hello funny and pulls a face in an attempt to show me how my face supposedly looked (which is supssoidly funny) but it’s not like I can change for her. Plus when’s I try to act different I clearly fail because I still get laughed at, sometimes more so than before! 

    So even if people are laughing or whispering about you, you need to try and think “so what?” 

    Not that its its easy to do that. I struggle with this a lot myself.