Paranoia

I get paranoid.

I was bullied and laughed at a lot in school and now people did whisper about me and then laugh, point etc. 

So it’s hard not to assume it’s about myself when I see people whispering. 

Sometimes for some surreal times in my life i’ll Manage to convince myself that support workers are against me along with all my neighbours and everything they do and say is a set up. 

I’ve been told most people are too busy inside their own heads to be whispering and watching me or whatever. The more I observe of people the more i’m Starting to realise there is some truth to this. I’m not always convinced by this, but if I keep reminding myself of this I can let go of the idea they might have been talking about me. 

On the other hand I also try to think, “so what if they are?” Let’s just assume for a second they are, would I change for them? And in some instances can I even change for them? 

For example my my sister takes the mick out how I react to greetings of extended family and sometimes strangers. I’m not entirely sure what is so weird or funny about the way I am being. All I know is that i can’t help whatever i’m Doing because it’s just the way I am. She says I say hello funny and pulls a face in an attempt to show me how my face supposedly looked (which is supssoidly funny) but it’s not like I can change for her. Plus when’s I try to act different I clearly fail because I still get laughed at, sometimes more so than before! 

So even if people are laughing or whispering about you, you need to try and think “so what?” 

Not that its its easy to do that. I struggle with this a lot myself. 

I get paranoid.

I was bullied and laughed at a lot in school and now people did whisper about me and then laugh, point etc. 

So it’s hard not to assume it’s about myself when I see people whispering. 

Sometimes for some surreal times in my life i’ll Manage to convince myself that support workers are against me along with all my neighbours and everything they do and say is a set up. 

I’ve been told most people are too busy inside their own heads to be whispering and watching me or whatever. The more I observe of people the more i’m Starting to realise there is some truth to this. I’m not always convinced by this, but if I keep reminding myself of this I can let go of the idea they might have been talking about me. 

On the other hand I also try to think, “so what if they are?” Let’s just assume for a second they are, would I change for them? And in some instances can I even change for them? 

For example my my sister takes the mick out how I react to greetings of extended family and sometimes strangers. I’m not entirely sure what is so weird or funny about the way I am being. All I know is that i can’t help whatever i’m Doing because it’s just the way I am. She says I say hello funny and pulls a face in an attempt to show me how my face supposedly looked (which is supssoidly funny) but it’s not like I can change for her. Plus when’s I try to act different I clearly fail because I still get laughed at, sometimes more so than before! 

So even if people are laughing or whispering about you, you need to try and think “so what?” 

Not that its its easy to do that. I struggle with this a lot myself. 

Thanks for bothering to write a long helpful comment.. , yes it really is an irrational feeling but hard to control none the less