Problems with washing face, hair and brushing teeth

I don’t think it’s a sensory thing and I’m not depressed. I’m wondering if it’s the autism? 

  • I struggle with hygiene. I only bath because of work and sex. if those aren't happening then I can go weeks without washing or changing my clothes and I just won't notice. As far as dental hygiene is concerned I'll make an allowance just because dental problems are extremely painful and mostly avoidable. 

  • I struggle to do these things as often as I (apparently!) "should". I say apparently because I'm still not convinced.

    For me, the infrequency & irregularity comes from a combination of:

    • It rarely seems uppermost in my mind (unless I'm going "out" e.g. for a meal)
    • Getting undressed, showered, and dressed again seems a less appealing used of time than whatever else I happen to be doing unless I'm very, very bored.
    • Less applicable as I've aged but the sensory process of getting wet in a cold bathroom before all the temperatures stabilise, and getting dry again in a draught, put me off.

    On the teeth question, I was asked by a new dentist recently how often I clean my teeth and I lied and said about once a day on average. He looked shocked and said that I really should be doing it twice a day. The next time I saw him I plucked up courage and told less of a lie and said it was about twice a week. He repeated his advice. The truth is I don't know how often I do it but I think it's about once a fortnight on average *and nothing bad has happened in over 50 years*! I apparently have really good teeth (according to my hygienist and dentist) despite doing apparently reckless things like go to bed without cleaning after eating sugary foods and my teeth have not dissolved! And my breath smells no worse than it does 30 minutes after cleaning my teeth and then having a coffee. Maybe it would smell better if I *did* clean my teeth twice a day but I don't see that as sufficient reason for all that bother. Having said that - I *will* clean and floss if my mouth feels like it needs it to *me*.

    One thing I can say in the opposite direction is that I'm starting to enjoy the simple pleasures in life (because apparently all of the complex pleasures are for younger people than me :-) ) and one of those is the refreshing feeling of washing my face before bed. So there's that :-).

  • I do know sometimes the act of doing these doesn’t even cross my mind. 

    That's how it is with brushing my teeth . It's chronic, as oral hygiene  was mentioned in psych records from the early 80s .

  • I have the opposite - I feel very uncomfortable if my face and teeth aren't clean. I've got some blueberry in my teeth right now...

  • I usually have very good personal hygiene as I have a very sensitive sense of smell and can smell my own smell and other people's smell very strongly.  However, if I have had a bad day and I have been pushed to my limits, I think my issue is down to executive functioning.  The thought of showering and having to think about what parts of my body I need to wash and in what order is just too much to go through - then there is the whole process of making sure you have a towel, soap etc.  Usually this isn't a problem fr me, but if I have overdone it - this usual simple task becomes unfathomable.  I hate the feeling and smell of being unwashed, but I also can't battle to executive functioning problems, so it is a catch 22 in this circumstance.

  • yea I’ve heard of this happening, cleaning to much and being obsessed with it. God we are difficult lol

  • Also think my brain is like “Don’t have time to do personal hygiene, eat, house work as I need to do this task(normally Xbox)

  • Yes, in truth it's likely to be multi factorial and possibly linked to difficulties with executive functioning too.  

    I don't know about foreskins but I do pay attention to any folds and crannies where sweat/smegma/dead skin is likely to build.  For me removing these is quite satisfying and something of a relief.  

    Oral hygiene really bothers me.  I have bad memories of my dad's blackened teeth and I'm afraid my son's will go the same way.  My fear of my own teeth ending up like my dad's sent me to the other extreme of being excessively concerned but he doesn't seem at all bothered.  To be honest I fantasise about getting in there with dental floss and dislodging all the build up then brushing the gums as well as the teeth to keep them healthy.  But I don't know how to encourage him to do it.  

  • So today I’m having a gd day mentally and after some of your suggestions I’ve done some self assessing. After a little prompting and reminders from the wife I’ve showered and brushed teeth with no issues. 

    With me personally I think it’s any one of these causes or any combination of them. Depression, getting distracted, forgetting or not even thinking of it (least priority as I’m struggling with just living). Also I kind of like my own scent and during my whole life I’ve been this way, showering once a week or less and it’s done me no harm, my skin hasn’t fell off lol. But I am embarrassed if I tell people the extent of my lack of hygiene. 

    Theres is actually two area I do suffer from the lack of hygiene, I do get sore sometimes underneath foreskin(sorry if I shouldn’t be writing this) and my oral health ain’t great, horrible teeth shape and look, plaque and bad breath.  

  • It's certainly an issue that keeps cropping up.  I don't understand why the NAS doesn't have a helpsheet on this subject.  www.youtube.com/watch

  • It's something I'm very curious about as it's affected (and still affects) several within my family. 

    And yes, within autism groups the focus usually seems to be on resolving sensory issues - collaborative problem-solving with the person to see whether there is anything that makes it particularly offputting (shower head too forceful, bathroom products too smelly, lighting very glaring etc) and substituting something more appealing or less unpleasant).  If the problem persists then, as you suggest, the subject generally moves on to depression or anxiety as self neglect can arise from this.  Plus, of course, if you're battling with social anxiety or simply to stay alive, personal hygiene might tend to be pushed down the list of priorities. 

    But, like yourself, I suspect there's something else.  I've known famly members have these problems throughout their lives, irrespective of whether they were going through a stressful period or feeling quite happy, plus also irrespective of the range of products, lighting, bath or shower, softness of towels, whatever adjustments were made.  It was as if these issues were marginal and, in some cases, a red herring altogether.  

    The impression I got from one close family member was that this just didn't exist for them as an issue.  The issue, from their perspective, was that others kept mentionning it and trying to get them to do something.  But they didn't really see it and actually responded by feeling hurt or unjustly accused of being mucky (even if they were and even if the other person approached it very gently and sensitively!).  

    I'm afraid we eventually just accepted it.  This was the person's preference, although I'm sure that neighbours thought it was a matter of neglect, not having a quiet word or not hinting by getting the person toiletries for their birthday.  i could have assured them it was nothing to do with any of those factors.  

    I think that, if it's something you're concerned about, it might be a case of talking through that concern, deconstructing it as it were.  What is bringing it up as an issue here and now, have there been any times when it's been easier or harder and what was going on in your life then, what is making you aware of the problems and can any of this be fed back into a plan that might suit you?  You've said it's not sensory and it's not depression, but saying "it's autism" doesn't narrow it down far enough to enable you to address things (assuming you want to).  So I'm wondering which aspects of autism might be bringing to bear.  Plus hoping that zooming in might be helpful.            

  • Not sure, but worth a try, thanks

  • Is it that you forget to do these things (e.g. just don't think about them), or you don't feel you're doing them well/often enough? It might be worth setting alarms on your phone to remind you to do them, or sticking reminders up on your bathroom mirror :)

  • I don’t know how to link posts but I made one 4 days ago called ‘personal hygiene’ that may help. I forgot about it. 

  • I hate it when the shower curtain sticks to me but this is not the cause as if it didn’t I still wouldn’t. 

  • Would if I could, I’m in the same boat, my wife tries to help by telling me to have a shower and I still don’t. 

  • Being that you are going through much of the same things as Is there any advice that you could give them on this? 

    I’m the same, also very rarely shower or change clothes. I’m also on the hunt for the route cause of this.
  • I’m the same, also very rarely shower or change clothes. I’m also on the hunt for the route cause of this. I am 32 and as far as I remember I’ve always been like it. 

    I do know sometimes the act of doing these doesn’t even cross my mind. 

  • I don’t think it’s a sensory thing and I’m not depressed. I’m wondering if it’s the autism? 

    Speaking from my own experiences, I can say that this isn't something which I have experienced as an autistic person (I have been clinically diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome). Is this something which has occurred overnight? Or, is it something which you have recognised as occurring gradually (i.e over a long period of time) I know that you have said that you aren't depressed, but I would still recommend seeking professional help for this issue- if not to be clinically diagnosed with Depression, then to rule it out.

    I hope that this helps your situation somewhat and am sorry I couldn't help you further on this subject

    Calvin&Hobbes Fan