Starting counselling

Since diagnosis in 2015, I've had no form of support or therapy.  I didn't think there was much available to me, to be honest.

These few years, though, have given me much time to think things over about my life and get some perspective.  Since my last relationship ended disastrously around the same time, too, I've tended to shut myself away from people more.  I've also stopped seeking any form of romantic attachment.  I realise that I struggle with these kinds of emotional extremes.  It's all a huge deal at the start... and then it all goes flat.  That's when people get hurt.  Partly, I think I don't want to inflict that on anyone else any more.

Then there are the problems I had with bullying in my last job, and what I know seemed to my employers at the time as my extreme over-reaction to events.  All of that came in the wake of my trying to come to terms with the loss of my mother - the only person whom I'd ever been able to go to in life.  The only person who gave me unconditional love and support.  It all took me to a very dark place, in which I felt like I was gradually losing my capacity to function as an emotional being in any sense.

That led me a couple of months ago to think seriously about getting some form of help.  One day, I Googled 'counsellors and therapists in [my area]', and one of the results was a charity that - so I discovered - is based five minutes' walk from my front door!  I contacted them and enquired if they had anyone who was trained and experienced in dealing with people with ASC.  It didn't sound promising, but they took my details and said they'd get back to me.  They informed me that all they wanted for a session was a minimum of a £5 donation (maximum £30 - whatever, basically, was affordable to the individual).  This was good, as I was expecting a minimum of at least £60.  Anyway... I left it with them and heard no more.

Until last Thursday.  They rang up to say they had someone who was experienced with ASC, and they could fit me in for a session on this coming Monday evening if I still wanted it.  It's a female counsellor, too, which I prefer.  They said I could decide after the first session if I wanted to continue, and that there was no minimum or maximum number of sessions.

So... I'm going along on Monday, after work.  I guess, once the formalities are out of the way, the big question will be 'What do you hope to gain from these counselling sessions?'

Well, where do I start?  There's a lot to go through.

Hopefully, this can be a way forwards, though.  I'll let you know how things go.