I hugged someone today

I went out with my autism family (group) today. We went to Pizza Hut for dinner. I was really excited because one of the boys (one of my three best friends there) was going to be there and I haven’t seen him since Christmas. 

I was about to sit down when I noticed one of the girls who had said she didn’t think she would make it. And before I knew it, we had both reached in and we gave each other a really big hug ~ and I loved it!!!!!

She’s a hugger anyway, but never in my life have I automatically given a hug like that! Honestly, I didn’t think I was capable! But it felt really good. It was such a good day. 

Honestly, I never even knew these type of experiences existed. I’ve been out to eat with hundreds of people before now, but what I experience when I’m with these people, is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced in my life. 

Or maybe I did as a little kid. Because it was weird. My friend is fussy about food and while we were all having the buffet, he was choosing something off the menu. The waitress asked him twice and he was still deciding. And I noticed, I was like a little girl, helping my friend out. I was telling the waitress to wait, while helping him. But as I was noticing it, it felt surreal. 

It’s like when I’m with them, I’m this little girl, just being herself and it feels so good. 

In terms of social standing, for want of a better expression, they’re nothing like me. I’ve lived such a different life to them and I’m used to earning good money. Whereas they are the opposite. They certainly don’t talk like me, or see the world like me. But none of that matters. Those things don’t even come into it. 

It’s just an incredibly powerful thing that happens when I’m with them. And we’re all going ice skating next month, on my suggestion. It’s almost like being a kid for the first time, but knowing all that I know now. 

I only ever remember one best friend at school. It was in my first year at school. We were such good friends. We were very naughty but I always stuck up for kids. But before the year was out. He was suddenly taken away and sent to a ‘special school’ and I never saw him again and I’ve never forgot him. 

Today felt like I was back with him. I love my friend so much (new one) and I have no idea why. It’s weird. But it’s like for the first time since my little friend was taken away, I’m making new ones. Real ones. All my other friendships are real. I’m not taking anything away from them, but to be around people like me, is so precious and so important to my growth. 

It’s like I’ve blossomed like a little flower, in front of their eyes, in a little over a year. They’ve seen me in so many states, including mega meltdowns and mega hyper states as well. I finally learned what it means to build friendships. Finding that group was one of the best things that ever happened to me and no matter where I might roam, I’ll never forget them. The ‘leader’ said today, we’re family, we’re more than friends. And it’s true. I don’t know how it works, but it does.

Parents
  • Such a wonderful story , it gives me hope that my grandson will like other kids one day .. he’s only two but hates other children which is a bit sad. So glad you’ve found this group it sounds amazing x

Reply
  • Such a wonderful story , it gives me hope that my grandson will like other kids one day .. he’s only two but hates other children which is a bit sad. So glad you’ve found this group it sounds amazing x

Children
  • Oh, it took a lot of persuasion from my support worker to keep me going. I liked going to the group, I loved my new friends (3 in particular) but I wasn’t going to keep on going. To me, what was the point? I like myself better than I like any body else!!! Face palm tone1‍♀️ But my support worker kept saying it was important and that I should keep going. 

    It was very hit and miss at the beginning. I didn’t go regularly and when one of my friends asked to meet me for a coffee, for the first time, I wanted to turn and walk away and never go back to that stupid group with it’s stupid people ever again!!! But I trusted my support worker, and I followed her advice, I kept going, not every week but mostly, and now, I’m soooooooooo glad I did. 

    The group is very simple, we each have our own little tables we like to sit at, but it’s so relaxed and friendly and somehow it’s worked it’s magic on me. 

    I still like my own company but I can appreciate what being in company offers me and I don’t think I’ll ever be found going round hugging as a rule but I’ve also bought a birthday present for one of my friends, and it’s not even his birthday!!! What’s happening to me!!!! lol! Where did the old person go?!?!? 

    It’s taken a while, I’m 51 now, but I feel like I’m starting my life for the first time ever, so yeah, things can change and one day, let’s hope, your little grandson will also find such joy in other people. What I really love about my new friends, is that they are so different to me in so many ways, yet I couldn’t love them more if I tried and I wouldn’t want to be with anybody else ~ I love our weekly group sessions, our monthly lunch out and now our monthly activity, which this month, is ice skating. 

    So yeah, definitely there is hope for your grandson. Thank you X