I hate being so different

Hi,

Last night I went to my school Xmas dance in a big, fancy hotel. I arrived earlier than my friends so I had to walk in and just drift around making small talk with people. I was friendly but people kept ignoring at me and pointing at me. I have never felt so embarrassed and lonely in my life. Everyone was getting photos together and there was me standing in a corner no one bothering to talk to me and me trying not to cry. I eventually left and went and found a chair to sit on and cried my eyes out - I just want to be normal. I thought I could go to that dance and be a normal teenage girl for one night but no. I eventually had to go home because I just couldn't stand it. I was just wondering if anyone had any advice? I am feeling awful today and just wanting to hide and never face my school again, but I have mock exams soon so I have to study but my mental health is really poor right now. I am also feeling slightly angry that no one thought to even just say hi to me or even ask to join them, which was the way I was raised. I try so hard but I just keep getting things wrong. I go to a very academic school and the pressure they put on me is insane. The teachers were all angry at me for leaving and I feel so awful for wasting my mums hard earned money on that stupid dance.

Sorry this was more of a rant!

Any comments or advice would be greatly appreciated x

Parents
  • I am in my late 20s now but I can definitely understand how you feel. You should be proud of yourself for even trying to go to the dance. I wouldn't have even been able to get that far when I was your age. I had a similar experience at a wedding this year. No one tried to speak to me, even the people I knew well left me feeling awkward. People just told me to stop looking so miserable. It wasn't a nice experience.

    I think it's awful your teachers were angry, they should be understanding. Try to move on from it though and remember you have lots of strengths and talents that those other people probably don't have.

    Don't always feel you have to do things because it's the "norm". It's ok to say actually I don't want to do that and to do something you like and are comfortable with instead.

Reply
  • I am in my late 20s now but I can definitely understand how you feel. You should be proud of yourself for even trying to go to the dance. I wouldn't have even been able to get that far when I was your age. I had a similar experience at a wedding this year. No one tried to speak to me, even the people I knew well left me feeling awkward. People just told me to stop looking so miserable. It wasn't a nice experience.

    I think it's awful your teachers were angry, they should be understanding. Try to move on from it though and remember you have lots of strengths and talents that those other people probably don't have.

    Don't always feel you have to do things because it's the "norm". It's ok to say actually I don't want to do that and to do something you like and are comfortable with instead.

Children
  • As a mid fifties Male I too can relate to not being seen or talked to, 

    when we were waiting to go home yesterday it being our last day working for Xmas, I was in the main office stood there wondering why everyone was acting like no one would ever see one another again?

    it is a ritual I can see no sense in st all, we will be returning back to work after Xmas!

    the loud voices, the inevitable hugs and loud laughter, eating a little buffet laid on by The bosses, No one came to talk to me, yes I got the odd “ alright how are you” and “ have a good Xmas mate”.

    I felt awkward, the noise and bustle all around me, I just stood there looking on, I began to feel anxious as I did not know quite how to join in, these are men and staff I work with every day, no one was leaving bar one secretary who was the main focus of attention. Even then it was way over the top emotion for being sad she was leaving or jokes about thank god for that, don’t rush back to soon,,,,Lol.

    I wanted to get out, but stayed as long as I thought was polite.

    As the others have said, be kind to yourself and don’t think you must attend such things if it will effect you to much. Peer pressure is a big thing to cope with, if needs be make a polite excuse and do something that fills your life with happiness.

    It is sad when you work so hard to be part of it and no one seems to want to join with you, story of my life.

    take care and good luck with the mock exams. I am sure you will do well.