The Hidden Danger of Suicide in Autism

A friend has just forwarded me this recent article.  I found myself nodding my head a lot as I read it.  The points on bullying and 'camouflaging' are particularly pertinent for me.

The Hidden Danger of Suicide in Autism

Parents
  • Thank you for this post Tom, I wrote a very long post yesterday about the pointlessness of being alive which disappeared, at the bottom of the article are links to others in the site that are also very accurate and informative.

  • That's strange, Song.  Wonder why that is.

    I'm feeling really odd right now.  I have a colleague at work who, when I started and mentioned my autism, said she wasn't surprised because I didn't make eye contact.  All along, over the last year, she's said she 'gets' me.  We've always got on very well at work since then.

    I upset her a bit, I think, when I led off the other week about young children being given smartphones too early - because her pre-schooler has got one.  It didn't seem to matter too much, though, and she's been fine - up until a week ago, when she went on annual leave.

    I checked her page on Facebook earlier and she had a jokey post saying something about 'Stop moaning, those in your 20s, about life being s**t - as it hasn't even started yet.'  I posted a jokey response to say 'The same for those in their 40s' (as she is) with a smiley emoticon.  She then responded 'And those in their 60s'.  I thought it was all part of a joke, so I then said 'I'm not quite there yet!'

    At which point she commented 'Get off your computer and go out and get a life.'

    She then both 'unfriended' me and blocked me, too.  I'm gob-smacked.  Was what I said really worthy of such treatment?  Have I missed something?

    I'm really going to struggle with seeing her again at work now.  I don't know what to do.

    Things like this send me over the edge.  I can't understand why people have behaved in the way they do, and I blame myself.

  • Work self and private self can be two separate bubbles... did she ask you to look at her Facebook page? You might just have spooked her.. 

    Try not to over analyse I just think you may have jumped too many steps in quick succession.

    i.e Oh I came across your Facebook page  I didn’t know you liked .... so having that conversation first before jumping in.

    Finding the page and commenting may have caught her unawares. Think about if someone found out your address and then turned up at your doorstep unannounced - this is not a great analogy but the best I can think of for now.

    i know there is nothing wrong about what you’ve done.. you maybe should have tested the water first. It will be fine.

    sorry 

  • Belated Good morning, ElephantInTheRoom.

    Lack of services is one thing. Lack of even an explanation after a diagnosis is another. Writing people off and then promoting 'learned helplessness' over social security assessments is yet another.

    Who might have this 'strategy'? There is some good stuff in Think Autism, but very limited and patchy money from local authorities or NHS, and to be frank most people don't know how to help. We can keep pointing this out...

    I think this thread and the article may also be relevant to and the 'separate protected characteristic' petition.

    Discussing abuse and suicidal thoughts can be an essential thing IMO. So long as we're not telling people which are the best tall buildings to jump off ('don't try this one, it didn't work') I presume the mods are fine with it.

  • That workshop I'm attending tomorrow may give some answers about services, or lack of.  I'm sure the subject of IAPT will come up.

  • Just a bit odd that they interview professionals speculating about the reasons for suicidal thoughts or behaviour, and fail to get more qualitative stories from autistic people.

    I get the impression that they are not too bothered about autistic people. @Evan on another thread for example citing the lack of support post diagnosis is a fair indication that many do struggle. The topic of suicide and real struggle comes up frequently on the forum and members do their best to try and support.

    I wonder if the forum moderators or community managers keep a tally of key terms/issues that are repeatedly raised? I may get ticked off now and again for using swear words on an adult forum but in recent months I have cited domestic abuse, cohersive relationships and posted on threads about suicide, but nada! It seems such topics are quite normalised that they may well be dissensitised to them. 

    it has been highlighted the lack of services for Autistic Adults but whether there is a planned strategy afoot I have no idea....  

    Good morning btw?  

  • What you wrote didn't seem offensive to me, maybe slightly teasing. Could she have thought you were flirting? I've defriended genuine friends on FB just because I didn't want the interaction.

    The article's fairly interesting, particularly 'Adults with autism who camouflage are eight times as likely to harm themselves as those who don’t' which might help explain why autistic women are proportionately more 'at risk'. Bullying and social communication also seem to be factors. Just a bit odd that they interview professionals speculating about the reasons for suicidal thoughts or behaviour, and fail to get more qualitative stories from autistic people.

    I should get off the computer, go out and get a life. I wish I knew how.

Reply
  • What you wrote didn't seem offensive to me, maybe slightly teasing. Could she have thought you were flirting? I've defriended genuine friends on FB just because I didn't want the interaction.

    The article's fairly interesting, particularly 'Adults with autism who camouflage are eight times as likely to harm themselves as those who don’t' which might help explain why autistic women are proportionately more 'at risk'. Bullying and social communication also seem to be factors. Just a bit odd that they interview professionals speculating about the reasons for suicidal thoughts or behaviour, and fail to get more qualitative stories from autistic people.

    I should get off the computer, go out and get a life. I wish I knew how.

Children
  • Belated Good morning, ElephantInTheRoom.

    Lack of services is one thing. Lack of even an explanation after a diagnosis is another. Writing people off and then promoting 'learned helplessness' over social security assessments is yet another.

    Who might have this 'strategy'? There is some good stuff in Think Autism, but very limited and patchy money from local authorities or NHS, and to be frank most people don't know how to help. We can keep pointing this out...

    I think this thread and the article may also be relevant to and the 'separate protected characteristic' petition.

    Discussing abuse and suicidal thoughts can be an essential thing IMO. So long as we're not telling people which are the best tall buildings to jump off ('don't try this one, it didn't work') I presume the mods are fine with it.

  • That workshop I'm attending tomorrow may give some answers about services, or lack of.  I'm sure the subject of IAPT will come up.

  • Just a bit odd that they interview professionals speculating about the reasons for suicidal thoughts or behaviour, and fail to get more qualitative stories from autistic people.

    I get the impression that they are not too bothered about autistic people. @Evan on another thread for example citing the lack of support post diagnosis is a fair indication that many do struggle. The topic of suicide and real struggle comes up frequently on the forum and members do their best to try and support.

    I wonder if the forum moderators or community managers keep a tally of key terms/issues that are repeatedly raised? I may get ticked off now and again for using swear words on an adult forum but in recent months I have cited domestic abuse, cohersive relationships and posted on threads about suicide, but nada! It seems such topics are quite normalised that they may well be dissensitised to them. 

    it has been highlighted the lack of services for Autistic Adults but whether there is a planned strategy afoot I have no idea....  

    Good morning btw?