I Have Had Enough

I have truly had enough of my life, of living.

I have come to detest people and detest society.

Back in April I reported a noise nuisance by a household four days; they were (are) playing music very loudly for hours on end. We are almost in August and the problem has still not been sorted. Three times the household has stopped playing, seemingly after being contacted by the council, only to start again after approximately two weeks (I know the gaps as I keep records for completing witness records.

Earlier this month I asked for a council officer visit when the music was being played one Sunday afternoon but had to cancel the visit before the officer arrived because the music (the one time I wanted the music to continue and it stopped!). Earlier this week I put a call in to the council (after 5 p.m.) only to be told they do not visit out of office hours during the week. The music lasted five hours.

On top of this there is another household behind where I live that has started making a greater nuisance of itself than before. There is a boy who just kicks his football against all manner of objects. He has broken at least five panes of glass in a greenhouse. The other day he was keeping his football (thump, thump, thump, thump) until getting on for 10 p.m. When his told him to take the ball up the recreation ground (less than a minute's walk away) he ignored her and even said, "Would you like me to kick the ball at you?" She replied, "No" and he said, "No, I thought not."

A week ago I was woken up by TV-like noise from the household and kept awake. Eventually, I went round to ask for the noise to be kept down. The mother would not answer the door (she just kept turning up the TV!) but one of her sons answered the door. He agreed to keep the noise down. About an hour later (10.30 p.m. to 10.40 p.m.) he had turned up the volume and I was again woken. The following morning I went round again and had the same trouble in getting someone to open the door. The son who had answered the door previously opened the door. He denied the noise came from their household but could not say where it came from. He also said the window was only cracked open (a lie as I saw it plainly). He then went on to say he did not know how I could hear the noise as he could barely hear it! When I returned to my property he had opened his window wide and had set the volume on the TV high enough for it be a nuisance.

The other day he had the volume up so much that I had to wear ear defenders indoors, had to wear headphones to listen to the radio and could not sit outside. the noise nuisance was particularly bad from 6 p.m. to 10.35 p.m. The stress of all their noise gave me a migraine.

Truly, I have had enough.

I have moved once due to noisy neighbours. I have been looking at ways to escape (e.g. living in a tent) but cannot do so whilst my lovely rescue cat Scratchy is with me.

Sorry to have gone on.

  • Ah, fair enough; not worth the risk of kitty not being able to swim! Slight smile 

  • I have not seen the film or heard of Christopher McCandless.

    Having had a quick read of the Wikipedia page, I must say that the idea of just walking away from it all has very great appeal - regardless of the consequences. Except, of course, I would not abandon my elderly rescue cat.

  • Do you remember the name of the site?

  • Thank you for the links.

    I do not think that living on a boat will be suitable for my cat as she has recently been diagnosed with arthritis.

  • I feel that I don't have a place in society most of the time too, except around other people with Autism and people who understand Autism. Have you ever seen the film "Into The Wild"?. It's based on the true story of Christopher McCandless. I'm not sure if he had Autism, but he did show signs of it. 

  • Mostly they seem to be sold on a local basis but here’s a website selling narrowboats http://newandusedboat.co.uk/used-boat-search/, here’s a place you can rent one for a trip (I would heartily recommend a winter and a summer jaunt before deciding to live in one) https://ukcanalboating.com/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIzPap3MfG3AIVybTtCh3jlgsYEAAYASAAEgJEN_D_BwE and this is a good source of information on narrow boat living http://www.canaljunction.com/boat/liveaboard.htm 

    You can actually live on a boat with cats, many animals adapt surprisingly well to life on board! www.waterways.org.uk/.../boating_with_cats

  • I have a small amount of savings and have thought about an old campervan.  I had one when I was in that noisy flat and used to take off at weekends to escape.

    An Aspie friend was looking into crowdfunding for a small island (off Wales, I think) a couple of years back.  I think she was looking at 50 people to put in £20k each.  Then, of course, they'd have needed to build houses, and there are laws protecting such places from development - understandably.  So I don't think anything came of it.

  • It needs a few of us to crowdfund for a spacious house, or maybe an island.

    If only that were possible!

    So far, I have been looking at campervans/motorhomes (including conversions), tents (some wild camping, some site camping), caravans (including Tab caravans) and boats.

  • Thank you for the reply.

    I have been looking into living on a boat once my cat is no longer with me (she is 19). The ongoing costs seem reasonable but the purchase of a boat seems pretty expensive.

    Do you have any links to websites I could visit, please?

  • I have not contacted the council about the TV-like noise as the music issue is hard enough. I am hoping to contact the council but it depends on whether I can get the music issue resolved. If they cannot resolve that then there is little chance they can resolve the other noise issue.

    I live in a self-contained annexe in the grounds of my parents' house.

  • I thought I'd found my answer a few years back with a caravan on a quiet site.  I could have paid for it outright and not have had to worry about mortgage or rent any more.  Then I discovered that occupancy was only for ten-and-a-half months a year.  Something to do with the rating for council tax.  I thought about a narrow boat, too, but it wouldn't suit me (being very tall). 

    It needs a few of us to crowdfund for a spacious house, or maybe an island.

  • I know a handful of people who live in narrowboats. It's not for everyone, so perhaps you could rent one for a week's holiday or something and see how you find it, but it is relatively inexpensive. Slight smile

  • As you say, people are selfish or just plain ignorant. I use headphones for listening to music or films, even though I don't really have to. It's just about respecting the peace of others. But it doesn't get returned. The old boy next door sometimes has his radio on really loud.  I politely mentioned it once and he more or less said tough luck. Problem neighbours are a nightmare, I know. Have you contacted the council? I did, but it didn't get me very far. Give it a go, though. You shouldn't have to put up with this.  Is it your own property or are you renting?

    Being over 55 now, I'm eligible to register with a social housing organisation which has a couple of 'retirement complexes' locally.  I'd probably only get a studio flat, and I'm not sure I especially want to go into a place like that.  But it should be quiet.

  • Thank you for the link.

    I am glad you have found a reasonable place.

    The way I feel is different to when I felt suicidal (and acted upon it). I just feel like I do not want to carry on. I do not fit into society and have no wish to given it is selfish, greedy, etc.

    If I want to sit outside I have to take my ear defenders, a pen, a notepad and something which gives the time in case the music starts or the other household decides to inflict their listening on me. That is no way to live.

    My radio and TV (I do not listen to music) cannot be heard by my neighbours even with the windows open (I have been careful in testing this to be the case) and I expect the same courtesy. But no.

  • I tried to find a secluded house before I moved to my present location.

    I thought I had found an ideal place in Scotland. The back garden looked out upon hills and there were no neighbours for some distance. The place had no mobile signal, which was also a plus. I was really excited.

    In Scotland the seller has to have a survey done and so I downloaded the survey. The cellar needed work (but I did not mind that as I was no going to spend a lot of time in the cellar!) but ... some of the walls had lintels missing.

    So that short dream disappeared.

    I am looking at various options (all of which seem too expensive) at living in something other than a building.

  • When I reported the music as a nuisance one of the questions was 'have you kept a log?' I had but the council was not interested and asked me to complete their forms during a two-week period (which I did). I have an incident number and plenty of forms (the council calls them witness records) to complete.

    If I call the council during office hours then someone will visit. During the week the music does not normally start much before 5 p.m. and so the window of opportunity for a visit is very small (I have to wait about 10 minutes to see if the music continues).

    The council will visit during weekends but, as I mentioned, I had to cancel such a visit.

    The council has not contacted other households near the one making the noise. They have written to the offending household but it has made no long term difference.

    That is the extent of the council's support.

    Frankly, it feels like the council are waiting for me to give up.

  • Thank you (in alphabetical order) California, ElephantInTheRoom and Martian Tom for taking the time to read and reply to my posing. It is very much appreciated.

    I will type more as replies to your postings.

  • I'm feeling a little the same, caretwo.  It feels like no one gives a damn about the misery they cause for others.  I was in that kind of situation for 18 months, from spring 2010 to autumn 2011, and it nearly drove me insane.  Partying neighbours, boy racers in the street, a noisy pub, a night club.  When I finally moved, to what I thought would be a quieter place, I found myself going from the frying pan into the fire.  It was a horrible, horrible time.  I'm reasonably lucky now.  My flat, which I've been in for 6 years, is badly in need of renovation.  But it's reasonably quiet.  Have faith that you'll find something, too.

    It doesn't help that it's so difficult to try to get anything done about nuisance neighbours.  It's almost as if no one cares.  I know it's not really a solution, but I found this site to be very helpful at a time when I most needed it.

    Problem Neighbours

    In spite of better circumstances now, I still find myself hating society.  Today is the second of three days off work... and I haven't been out once since returning from work on Friday.

  • I have had problems with noises in almost all the places I have lived in.

    I have moved two times myself due to noisy neighbours.

    I really understand how you feel. It is horrible and miserable feeling.

    I often wear ear defenders indoors too.

    I wish I could live in house with neighbours comfortable distance away, so I would never hear them.

  • It is not you that needs to stop going on but your neighbours should rightly be more considerate. 

    Have the council offered ANY support at all or are you just meant to one who bends to the will of others, or relocate yet again?