Near sexual assualt

At the end of my academic semester a month ago now, I was nearly sexually assaulted by another autistic person who I was asked to help by our welfare department. This autistic person is much more autistic than I am so whilst I struggle to read some social signals, for example, he struggles a lot more. Whilst I appreciate that isn’t his fault, what he did to me was unacceptable. 

We were just friends in my view and I explained that to him, however he wanted more. He wanted for us to be in a relationship and I made it very clear to him that it wasn’t going to happen as I’m already in one with someone else. He wouldn’t accept it so pushed me onto the bed and started trying to take off my clothes and his clothes. Before things got any further I said to this person “Get off me now and do not touch me or do that ever again! It is completely inappropriate what you have just done.” He then said, if you find that inappropriate how I touch your breasts, so I replied to him saying “Do not touch me anywhere on my body. I made it loud and clear to you we are not in a relationship and you’re not respecting boundaries.”

It was then suggested I went to tell welfare about what happened but all they said was we have to let him off because he’s seriously autistic even though this is in our view close to sexual assault. My friends think that I should report or do something as what happened is not acceptable and that the response of the welfare team is not good enough. Does anyone have any views? 

Parents
  • Dear NAS38298,

     I am very sorry to hear of what you have experienced, and also the lack of support you received when you reported this to your university Welfare team.

    As some of our community members have suggested, it is important that you talk to a trusted family member or friend about what has happened. They can help you to report this incident to the authorities, and also escalate your concerns with how your university has dealt with the incident. It is important that the appropriate action is taken to ensure you are safe and also, the individual in question understands boundaries and the consequence of their actions.

     The GOV.UK has a very useful guide that outlines the steps to report a sexual assault: https://www.gov.uk/report-rape-sexual-assault . The guide also outlines that if you do not want to report the assault to the police, then you can contact a Sexual Assault Referral Centres (SARCs) for support. These centres are within some areas of England and Wales and you can use the NHS Choices tool to find one in your area: https://www.nhs.uk/Service-Search/Rape%20and%20sexual%20assault%20referral%20centres/LocationSearch/364

     I have included a couple of links to some organisations that you may like to have a look at for some support:

     Victim Support: Victim Support can give both practical help and advice, as well as emotional support to help you with coping with the situation. The practical support that Victim Support can offer includes helping you to deal with the police if you decide to report incidents. You can contact Victim Support on: 08 08 16 89 111. You can also email their Supportline via their online enquiry form, here: https://www.victimsupport.org.uk/help-and-support/get-help/supportline/email-supportline 

    Please see Victim Support’s specific information covering sexual assault and consent, here: https://www.victimsupport.org.uk/crime-info/types-crime/rape-and-sexual-assault

    Safeline: Safeline is a specialised charity working to prevent sexual abuse and to support those affected in their recovery. Safeline have accessible services for people with disabilities: https://www.safeline.org.uk/

     You may find it useful to access some counseling to support you emotionally with what you have experienced. We have an online Autism Services directory where we can search for counsellors with experience of supporting autistic individuals: www.autism.org.uk/directory Please search under the category ‘Health’, then ‘Counsellors’, and then use the location options to refine the search by area. They can contact the Helpline if they would like help with this.

     Lastly, we have some specific guidance on our website for autistic victims of crime which the individual may find beneficial to read through http://www.autism.org.uk/law##victim

    I hope this has been of some help to you, and we hope that you are able to find the support you need to get through this very hard and challenging time.

    Kind regards,

    Ayshe Mod

Reply
  • Dear NAS38298,

     I am very sorry to hear of what you have experienced, and also the lack of support you received when you reported this to your university Welfare team.

    As some of our community members have suggested, it is important that you talk to a trusted family member or friend about what has happened. They can help you to report this incident to the authorities, and also escalate your concerns with how your university has dealt with the incident. It is important that the appropriate action is taken to ensure you are safe and also, the individual in question understands boundaries and the consequence of their actions.

     The GOV.UK has a very useful guide that outlines the steps to report a sexual assault: https://www.gov.uk/report-rape-sexual-assault . The guide also outlines that if you do not want to report the assault to the police, then you can contact a Sexual Assault Referral Centres (SARCs) for support. These centres are within some areas of England and Wales and you can use the NHS Choices tool to find one in your area: https://www.nhs.uk/Service-Search/Rape%20and%20sexual%20assault%20referral%20centres/LocationSearch/364

     I have included a couple of links to some organisations that you may like to have a look at for some support:

     Victim Support: Victim Support can give both practical help and advice, as well as emotional support to help you with coping with the situation. The practical support that Victim Support can offer includes helping you to deal with the police if you decide to report incidents. You can contact Victim Support on: 08 08 16 89 111. You can also email their Supportline via their online enquiry form, here: https://www.victimsupport.org.uk/help-and-support/get-help/supportline/email-supportline 

    Please see Victim Support’s specific information covering sexual assault and consent, here: https://www.victimsupport.org.uk/crime-info/types-crime/rape-and-sexual-assault

    Safeline: Safeline is a specialised charity working to prevent sexual abuse and to support those affected in their recovery. Safeline have accessible services for people with disabilities: https://www.safeline.org.uk/

     You may find it useful to access some counseling to support you emotionally with what you have experienced. We have an online Autism Services directory where we can search for counsellors with experience of supporting autistic individuals: www.autism.org.uk/directory Please search under the category ‘Health’, then ‘Counsellors’, and then use the location options to refine the search by area. They can contact the Helpline if they would like help with this.

     Lastly, we have some specific guidance on our website for autistic victims of crime which the individual may find beneficial to read through http://www.autism.org.uk/law##victim

    I hope this has been of some help to you, and we hope that you are able to find the support you need to get through this very hard and challenging time.

    Kind regards,

    Ayshe Mod

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