Meeting with social worker and her manager today. Very anxious.

I have a meeting with my social worker and her manager today about what kind of care I need. I don't have an advocate at the moment or anyone else to support me, so I will be alone. I don't feel up to speaking to anyone so I have written everything down. I feel as though my social worker doesn't listen to me and she is hardly ever there and i have been left without any care at all for two weeks. I don't feel comfortable with any of the care companies that she has sent to my flat. They don't prompt me with anything, don't help much and don't seem to know much about autism. One member of staff just sat on the couch the whole time writing in the file and when I asked her to help me once, she just stood there looking at me not doing anything and when I had a meltdown once, she just ignored me

 I was with the police and paramedics last night due to suicidal thoughts and having panic attacks over a hospital procedure that I have to have next Monday as abnormal cells have been found in my cervix and I have a virus.  It might be my exes fault and his ex girlfriends fault as his exes cheated on him but he stayed with them and then was with me. I feel that I was vulnerable being intimate with him and if I wasn't living alone, it wouldn't have happened. I am trying to get in to supported housing for people with Autism at the moment. I had only recently got back on speaking terms with my mum and grandmother too but when I was distressed last night, my mum kept putting the phone down. She was also supposed to come and see me but she didn't and I had a meltdown. My family don't understand autism.as I was diagnosed late, three years ago at the age of 31, and they have never read about the condition. My flat hasn't been cleaned for weeks, I can't cook and haven't been eating much and I can't get out of the flat without having someone else with me. My mum has problems with her heart and blood pressure and has to be monitored every two weeks and monitors herself at home. My dad lives further away, about forty five minutes away. He is much older than my mum and has been ill himself. He had a mini stroke last year and my stepmother is very ill too. My mum also takes care of my grandmother. I feel like I have no where to turn.  I would like to write a letter to my MP. The national Autistic Society sent me a very helpful email with places to contact but I need help contacting them. I wish I had friends with autism that I knew in person. 

  • I am so depressed at the moment. I had a meltdown and cried during the meeting yesterday. I was exhausted afterwards and slept for a long time. I would like to try the CBT for autism . How can I get that?. I don't know how to solve everything else. I feel like I am stuck in a situation that I can't get out of. I don't like this flat or the area. I might not have enough money to move to another council flat or private flat. I suppose I could do a flat swap, but I'm not sure if I could move in to any flat or just another council one. I could move in to one that's partly or fully furnished. 

  • I'm in tears. I am still not being listened to. They won't increase my hours yet, they won't apply for supported housing for me and they were putting me down. They left me in my flat being a mess. I am so depressed and anxious. 

  • Hi Bethy. I wondered how you'd been getting on. I think it's good that the meeting is happening and that you have written things down in preparation.

    The checkup sounds pretty normal and nothing to worry about. Is the virus you refer to HPV? That's very common (I think about a third of people have it), and there's now a vaccine against it. I hope the health professionals are friendly and understand, like the dentists. Maybe you could get other help with your anxiety about your health, though? Have you ever had Cognitive Behaviour Therapy adapted for autism?

    I wonder if the social workers can explain things about your autism to your family? As you mention, it sounds like an advocate might also be helpful.

    Good luck.