Published on 12, July, 2020
Like everyone else, I have gone through life having to overcome certain fears, some rational, some not so. However; recently a certain fear has been developing to a point I think it might be verging on unhealthy and irrational.
For some unknown reason, I developed a phobia of losing my house, more specifically, it falling down. I have researched subsidence and heave to the point I probably know more about it than a structural engineer! It started with me becoming obsessed with small hairline cracks due to natural movement, which lead to be looking into the foundations of the house, the type of soil it is built on and common problems with properties of a certain age. This has developed to the point I know every single visible crack on the outside and inside my property and I monitor them regularly on a daily basis. I appreciate this is irrational and that I am probably obsessing over nothing, but I now have to inspect the cracks daily and have an internal sense of dread that seems to be getting worse as if I am waiting for some catastrophic to happen to my house.
My home is the only place I can truly relax, so to have my sacred place become a place of dread is a big deal for me. I am becoming more anxious and agitated and I regularly have dreams of my house falling down or disappearing down a sinkhole. This is a fear that is now becoming constant and beyond my ability to control and manage.
I have been through the motions of tackling it logically and assessing the probability of these fears happening, and although they are very unlikely, the fact that they could be likely at all is enough to drive it in my mind.
I'm not sure what to do now to try and manage things better. Counselling, psychotherapy and CBT are out of the question as the services near to me don't cater for people with ASD.
Has anyone else had phobias suddenly manifest like this? There is obviously a root cause, I just can't get to it at present.
My OCD is shopping. I buy too much and stock up far in advance.
Do I need 24 bottles of spring water?,. 8 toothbrushes, 6 tubes of toothpaste,. 7 packets of cereals, etc etc ( I might post a few photos of my collections).
I know that the shops will not run out of these products. But I keep buying them. Why?
If there is a fear connected to buying the products ('I buy these products to prevent X from happening' or 'I will be ok because I have this stuff just in case', 'I need to have a certain number of specific objects or else I will feel anxious/it will not feel right/something bad may happen), then it is OCD. You need to do the shopping collections 'wrong' in order to deal with this OCD. Again, you will feel more anxious when you stop doing the shopping compulsions but it's the only way to break the vicious cycle.
If you like to buy the products because you get pleasure out of collecting them or doing the ritual of picking them off the shelves and buying them, then this can't be considered OCD. It's more of a repetitive interest obsession, not an OCD obsession.
I wish the word 'obsession' would be reformed because it means two completely different things in the OCD world and the ASD world. Responding to an OCD obsession is bad for emotional and mental welfare whereas responding to the ASD obsession is good for emotional and mental welfare.