NT's, You want me dead, the facts:

  • You put your "self" first at my expense.
  • You enjoy the apathetic game of traumatising and terrorising those that are different.
  • The weaker I get, the stronger you do.
  • I can't escape my "self" but you can.
  • If I can't survive you, then I might as well not survive at all.
  • Exclusion because I am a problem to you.
  • You get to help yourself to me, physically, financially and psychologically.
  • My survival only really matters when it effects yours.
  • You enable each other because helping each other is seen as wrong.
  • No one wants to have a conscious because reality is easier that way for you.
  • You honeypot/breadcrumb me into situations that only helps yourselves to me.
  • Regardless if it is out of love or hate, you will continue to **** each other because you love to hate.
  • I hate your love because it contaminates my independence.
  • You encourage me to pursue a life I can't live.
  • My anxiety is targeted into manipulated and coercion so that you can be seen as the better.
  • I am my own poison because you get to feed me your poisonous ways.
  • "insert projected inflection"

The list goes on and on and on...

No wonder I'm medicated, makes me want to bore a hole through myself just for being one of you. My freedom will only come when I'm free from you for good. Hence why I know how to euthanize myself peacefully because it is my legal right to choose to do so. Any further hostile intervention without my consent will be seen as just another attack against my own capacity to dealing with you.

Want to cure me? You can start by giving myself back without the BS. Failing that, at least we can exist together without killing each other, right? Wrong! You can't because you are you. And nothing will change the existential depravity that you drive into other life. 

My path of self consumption will only end when you end your malicious ways and finally free to breath to be myself. You can hide my psychache with drugs but you can't hide me from myself. I am me, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it. But I'm concerned that it maybe too late to save me from myself from future incursions. Neurosis has a terrible habit of wreaking things before the good has even begun.

  • This Thread appeared last Friday.

    And NAS has been unusually busy replying to Posts upon a Saturday... Except to this Thread, so far. 

    NAS sometimes follows me, and so I am posting in order to draw attention to this Thread. I agree with some of it, and so can offer little advice that is acceptable for this Forum.

  • I think I need to wash my hair... The scabs on my head are building up again. Wonder what must be causing them. Oh yeah, life.

    One of a group of mostly female friends who like most of us at the time had similar issues as you describe above, used to during particularly oppressive societal campaigns against individuality ~ sarcastically say, "Time for a Head and Shoulders (shampoo) session then?" to wash away the 'scab' dandruff ;-)

    Resisting scratching the pluralities of the stress ITCH though was and is the same again but with a B in front. And on the B front ~ when each and every little spot or hive are stinging together, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch and so fourth add seemingly blood covered infinitum. Know what I mean perhaps?

    Oh by the way, what causes the scabs ~ is not life, it is the way NT people 'live' life, thinking the use of a word or sentence of words in the wrong way is the right way.

    Also do not get caught up in the societal 'double-blag' thing that individuality is a crime ~ for the doubleness of the blag is that when people conform with it, or rebel against it ~ they are either way like everyone else so inclined conforming to and empowering it; whilst equally disempowering themselves.

    People ignore the victims they are as such themselves more becoming ~ seriously, and I mean very seriously, they know not what they do. They are delusional, and trying to convince them otherwise is therefore impossible in some cases, and the agony they are in is not as appealing as their delusion to see anyone who protests against it as another victim, as someone they desperately want also to submit to the violent words or behaviours of others that they had to summit to also.

    It is the old conform on account that 'everybody' else 'has' to ~ 'double-blag'. Do other than to be fooled by it ;-)

    Remember always that Individuality is not a crime ~ it 'is' the way of life and nature in every sense, live it up with us who very much appreciate like minded individuals for this reason.

    Further more; about your opening thread post ~ content factor ten bonus, and has it proven a good vent for you ~ or would you like or do need to discuss it further?



  • It's difficult to know what to say. Life sucks, sometimes. But sometimes it doesn't. It's hard to know when or how things can get better when you're deep in the s**t. Hang on to whatever you can in the meantime, because you have a right to be here and you don't know what's around the corner. Don't give up. There may be some evil b******s in your life right now, but there will be people who care about you, even if you're so stressed out you don't know who they are anymore. Get whatever help you need, from whatever place you can get it, even if it's just letting off steam on a website like this.

    I don't know your personal circumstances, but I am writing as a person who once planned suicide, and seriously believed back then that my life would never improve and there was no other way out. But it wasn't true, I just couldn't think straight at the time.