Hello I am 20 years old now and I am still affected by being bullied a lot when I was at school and being made fun of as unfortunately it is still happening but I just need help and advice on how I can end this as it is affecting me quite a lot and also I want everyone including the government to treat people in their late teens and early 20s as full adults and not as young teenagers or children anymore as this is also affecting me quite a lot too because also they can do many things that they could not have done before. It affects me a lot at college and stops me from wanting to go outside, enjoy life more and also it has caused me to suffer from social anxiety and anger issues.
You can find a guide on what to do when being bullied, and how to stay safe on the NAS website: http://www.autism.org.uk/about/in-education/bullying/guide-young-people.aspx.
If you would like some confidential advice and support, you may like to call the Bullying UK helpline on 0808 800 2222 or by visiting their website: http://bit.ly/IQ47dS.
You can also contact our Autism Helpline for impartial, confidential information along with support and advice: 0808 800 4104 (10am-4pm Monday-Thursday, 9am-3pm Fridays).Please note the Helpline team are experiencing a high volume of calls so it could take you a few attempts to get through to an adviser.
Heather - Mod
I was bullied all the way through school too, Sholay. I've also encountered workplace bullying. How does it affect you at college? Do people shun you? Is there cyberbullying also going on?
Hi Sholay, I would also quite like to know how to make this go away (the lasting effects of having been bullied, I mean) but not sure if that's actually possible. Maybe there is something about us that simply invites bullies, but I it seems to me like having been bullied at school does also make more vulnerable for it later too, maybe because we "overreact" because what starts just as a bit of teasing reminds us of what happened earlier, and that's the way how bullies find out that we are just perfect for their disgusting way of making themselves feel more powerful or whatever they get out of it. Don't think I can help you really, just wanted to add another name to the me-too list...
Where do you feel treated like a child? Do you think it's because everybody your age gets treated that way or do you appear childish to others in certain situations while actually being quite grown up in others. That applies to me - work 37, coffee break 13...
Glad Tidings and Good Fortune to Miss "Sholay09" from myself. (Hope you had a nice birthday!)
I hate to assume so many "negative" positions upon this Forum (...?) yet this here Thread - Bullying from an *Adult* Perspective - was one of those which I myself had also considered beginning here for a very long time...
Please see my UserName - I did not choose it lightly. I am approaching 50 Years, now, and yet "Bullying" still occurs. In some media it is an accepted part of Society. It is always dismissed:
Oh they didn't mean it! It is just a bit of fun!
Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me!
That won't happen again!
It is just your imagination!
You brought that onto yourself!
...That is the sort of thing which is offered as explanation. And the fact - for myself at least - is, that it never ever goes away. There are always people out there who are bad, or mean, or bored, or experimenting, or curious, or ignorant... And when they feel this way I am singled out, and that "persecution" occurs.
But-! The most positive advice I can offer to you, also works for myself: When this next happens to yourself, remember it, do not ever ignore it, recall the faces and/or behaviour of those who do it. Keep on doing this, though It may take a while to learn it. Eventually what is found is that all malicious persons act the same, once they are focussed upon yourself, and you can learn to avoid the more opportunistic versions of them. They may be adults, or they may not be higher than your knees (!), yet they all follow a similar "Script". Once you are aware of this, you can see it happening to others, and your own knowledge of it may grow and learn about it.
I would like to Post a lot more, but this is long enough already. Fair Play to You.
Bullying sucks. Vicious little apes humans all-too often prove themselves to be. Sometimes school bullies then graduate to become workplace bullies.
What sort of bullying is it? Could you describe it a little? When and where does it happen? What is the college policy to it?
If it is serious you might be able to do them on harassment or discrimination, if it is a decent college.
Well anywhere I would have to say and it is driving me mad as unfortunately I feel like I have to keep going on about it a lot because I want people to listen to me and not see me as a young person anymore as I am now an adult and I am able to do many more things like have more freedom, rights and responsibilities without people saying things about it and without still being treated like a child like people saying it does not matter about my age when it actually does. Also nobody should try and prevent younger adults either from doing what they want to do as they are now adults and they are not children anymore.
Hi there, not sure if it's good to say this, but then I'm just being honest, so that's what I'm like...
What you say there does come across a bit childish to me, like the 4 year old saying 'no, I can do this on my own because I'm already a big girl'. So it may well be that although you are quite grown up in some ways people still see very much a child in you. I guess your decisions and actions being judged (if this is what you mean) isn't the child thing, that will always happen. What is more specific to children and anyone else who is perceived unable to make responsible decisions is that people feel they simply are in a position to make the decisions for you and stop you from actions without you having any say. That isn't nice, but it's probably easier to address this with specific things rather than "anywhere".
Guess you would need to give examples in order for others to come up with any ideas how you could make others treat you more like an adult.
Greetings to Sholay from myself again (and Thank You Kindly, to those who UpVoted my initial Reply below.).
When I first came to this Forum, I was often confused by Starting questions, especially if they were very long. I say this as I am feeling this way now, as I see the replies between Yourself and Oktanol...
So is this Thread not so much about "Child and Adult Bullying" in general, but is rather about "Being Treated like a Child" (including Bullying)...?
(Hopefully this Post is understood by anyone, for I am uncertain of what else to add, now...)
Hey no it does not come a bit childish I don't mean to be rude but I just do not like people saying things in which are not true or rude.
Hi Sholay09, I think there is often a difference between how comments and actions are meant (by the person making / doing them) and how they're received by the other person. For instance, many people with autism are accused of being rude by other people when in fact the autistic person themselves did not mean to be rude at all!
Can you give us examples of the type of bullying you meant in your original post? It's difficult to know how to help without actually knowing what the specific problems are.