Hello I am 20 years old now and I am still affected by being bullied a lot when I was at school and being made fun of as unfortunately it is still happening but I just need help and advice on how I can end this as it is affecting me quite a lot and also I want everyone including the government to treat people in their late teens and early 20s as full adults and not as young teenagers or children anymore as this is also affecting me quite a lot too because also they can do many things that they could not have done before. It affects me a lot at college and stops me from wanting to go outside, enjoy life more and also it has caused me to suffer from social anxiety and anger issues.
Hi Sholay, I would also quite like to know how to make this go away (the lasting effects of having been bullied, I mean) but not sure if that's actually possible. Maybe there is something about us that simply invites bullies, but I it seems to me like having been bullied at school does also make more vulnerable for it later too, maybe because we "overreact" because what starts just as a bit of teasing reminds us of what happened earlier, and that's the way how bullies find out that we are just perfect for their disgusting way of making themselves feel more powerful or whatever they get out of it. Don't think I can help you really, just wanted to add another name to the me-too list...
Where do you feel treated like a child? Do you think it's because everybody your age gets treated that way or do you appear childish to others in certain situations while actually being quite grown up in others. That applies to me - work 37, coffee break 13...
Well anywhere I would have to say and it is driving me mad as unfortunately I feel like I have to keep going on about it a lot because I want people to listen to me and not see me as a young person anymore as I am now an adult and I am able to do many more things like have more freedom, rights and responsibilities without people saying things about it and without still being treated like a child like people saying it does not matter about my age when it actually does. Also nobody should try and prevent younger adults either from doing what they want to do as they are now adults and they are not children anymore.
Hi there, not sure if it's good to say this, but then I'm just being honest, so that's what I'm like...
What you say there does come across a bit childish to me, like the 4 year old saying 'no, I can do this on my own because I'm already a big girl'. So it may well be that although you are quite grown up in some ways people still see very much a child in you. I guess your decisions and actions being judged (if this is what you mean) isn't the child thing, that will always happen. What is more specific to children and anyone else who is perceived unable to make responsible decisions is that people feel they simply are in a position to make the decisions for you and stop you from actions without you having any say. That isn't nice, but it's probably easier to address this with specific things rather than "anywhere".
Guess you would need to give examples in order for others to come up with any ideas how you could make others treat you more like an adult.
Hey no it does not come a bit childish I don't mean to be rude but I just do not like people saying things in which are not true or rude.
Hi Sholay09, I think there is often a difference between how comments and actions are meant (by the person making / doing them) and how they're received by the other person. For instance, many people with autism are accused of being rude by other people when in fact the autistic person themselves did not mean to be rude at all!
Can you give us examples of the type of bullying you meant in your original post? It's difficult to know how to help without actually knowing what the specific problems are.
Yes, indeed. I'm sometimes seen as rude for various reasons like lack of eye contact, being (too?) honest - and I don't notice this at all until being accused of it, it's certainly not intentional. And childish too, although I do notice this but don't know how to be more grown-up in those situations.
But Sholay, I'm afraid you did come across as a bit childish in that post. This is not about actually being childish, so is not about true or false. And it's not rude in any way to say that you are not that way, but there is not much of a point in saying that it doesn't come across in a certain way because that isn't about your intention but about someone else's perception, and that perception is the way it is. It may also be me getting it wrong altogether, or you may appear totally different in real life. But I guess, as Endymion says, you can't assume that others don't see you in a certain way simply because you are not that way. I would seem logical but it doesn't always work.
Anyway, sorry, don't want to turn this into an argument. Better if you come up with some examples because then maybe someone has a suggestions rather than talking about things we are just guessing.