Liking people

So does anyone else feel like it's hard to like people and well....just follow the link to a video to see what I mean.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LaBSaP1J-mQ

I don't mean this exactly but it's pretty close to what I mean.

  • lol! That’s funny. On this photo it was literally just the back of her head, which I thought was weird at first but then I clicked on and realised she wanted me to tell her it looked nice, which it genuinely did, I just don’t understand why she wanted me to tell her it looked nice or why she might think I would want to see it. 

    I once tried out some fake eyelashes and said to my son, who was about 5 at the time, as I put my face in front of his, what’s different about me. He looked at me all thoughtful looking and said, in all seriousness, you didn’t shave ya tash! I’m still laughing about it to this day, and I’ve never asked anyone a question like that since, I don’t think anyone could come up with a better reply than that. It’s given me years of laughter. 

    I’m the same with remembering details or being able to tell the lies but I am learning to not say some things. For example, my sister has a thing about the size of bodies and she likes to say that she was fat, or she used to, and that fat was bad, so she had surgery and got thin, and now she doesn’t really mention fat or thin but she likes to wear clothes that shows her body size off, because she thinks thin is good and I noticed (I don’t know how) the other day, that she looked fatter, but before I opened my mouth to say, you look fat, I remembered she likes you to notice her size but not if you say she looks fat, that’s not good. So massive bonus points to me that I remembered. I don’t want to upset her any more than I do! Lol! 

  • Ha!! I got caught out with that! My daughter sent me a photo of herself and I sent back a message saying I liked her hair, even although I didn't know whether it looked any different or not. She got back to me saying the picture was showing her new eyeliner-technique, she hadn't had her hair done at all.

    This is EXACTLY why I don't usually lie, I'm incredibly bad at it and will never remember what my lie was anyway. 

    I'm rubbish at remembering details about even my family so no-one else has a chance of being remembered!!  

  • Same! Well said Endymion, I’m the same. I don’t understand all that clothes liking, image liking business, I barely notice what one person looks like over another anyway and even if I do, I soon forget what they look like at all if I don’t see them very often.  My sister sent me a photo of her hair the other day! Lol! Apparently she had been to the hairdressers so I now know I’m supposed to say it looked nice, which it did, but really I was thinking, that’s weird, why have you sent me a photo of the back of your head! And I barely did before but rarely do now have tolerance for the small talk that many people enjoy and no, I can’t and never have been able to feign an interest in the ridiculousness. 

  • It depends on the person, for me.

    I find it very difficult to like superficial people, people for whom material things (appearances, possessions, money) are everything. I think perhaps that's more to do with the fact that I just don't understand them, rather than actively disliking them. 

    I also can't find much to like about aggressive people, especially those who use that aggressiveness against other (usually smaller / weaker / younger) people. That would also apply to those who use their power / position / physical size / intellect to intimidate or demean others less able than themselves (basically bullying).

    Both groups I have difficulty understanding, for different reasons, and find myself studying them in the same way I might an interesting but slightly gross bug. The superficial ones I generally simply ignore. The various types of bullies I sometimes enjoy 'squashing', depending upon whether I think the person they're picking on can handle it themselves or not. 

    Apart from those exceptions, I think i just don't really notice most people. I generally neither like nor dislike them, they just don't show up on my radar most of the time. I only really notice those I'm forced to interact with and then I generally just 'get through' our interaction and leave. I can't 'do' their small-talk and I can't feign an interest in ridiculousness. I used to try to ... then I grew up. Or became less patient.      

  • I don’t think, for me, it’s hard to like people but there are very few people, if any, that I chose to spend any significant amount of time with. I’m not into traditional types of friendships where you have to stay in close contact with people on a regular basis, but the many friends I do have with people I like, are very long lasting although our meetings, get togethers or communications with each other is limited and we can go for years without contact because they have got to know and accept me so they know I don’t do traditional friendships, but they know I’m there for them and visa versa and we don’t usually go for moe than a few years without contact, which keeps me busy enough with people. I enjoy my own company the most but I do or I have sometimes developed little kind of obsessions on people that very quickly wear off, I soon get bored of them, but I do also have many deep and lasting friendships  that I value. Some people leave my life without word. I used to think that was a bit weird but I’ve since realised that I probably said something to offend them and rather than say anything to me, they just up and leave my life without word. I find it a bit weird but it does me a favour really because there are some people who I’m not overly keen on keeping in touch with and the ones who usually leave, are the ones that are looking for a more traditional type of friendship, that I just don’t do, so it was always for the best. I don’t always feel like telling someone I’m bored of them now, that they can go away, I do of course sometimes, but I like it better when they do it to me!