Neighbours making a complaint

Hi sorry I’m not sure if I’ve put this in the right bit

the last three to four months my neighbors have been messaging me about my son jumping and scream he is non verbal he jumps a lot when he’s excited he wakes up in the night I’ve tried everything to try and keep him calm and quite as I understand how annoying it has to be for them but it is getting to the point I’m being told to shut him the f**k up and that this has nothing to do with his autism and being told my parenting is bad they are bowing taking this to housing to make a formal complaint is there anything housing can do As I am trying my hardest to inpove the  situation I just don’t no what move I can do :( I feel so bad for my son he’s four and having things sed about him is upsetting me 

  • Do you realise that you've joined a discussion/conversation that's been dead for 4 years?

  • You shouldn't be allowed on here, your just a negative bully. 

  • Why are all your posts so negative, people come here for help not to be given negativity. 

  • Do you know what its like to have a SEN child? Its not easy your so ignorant it's unreal. 

  • "I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet, strange, I am ungrateful to those teachers." - Khalil Gibran

  • Hi, I agree that you should approach your housing landlord and tell them what's been happening with relation to your son's difficulties and the strain that is causing with your neighbours. Your could suggest to your landlord that a ground floor flat would be best suited to your son's needs as it would cause less disruption if you had no downstairs neighbours.

    If your son has any system of support workers in place (anyone who knows about his autism) it would help your case with your landlord if you asked them to support you in this. If not, it would be worthwhile to ask his doctor for a letter explaining your son's difficulties and to take this with you when you speak to your landlord. 

  • If the drunk individual is in need of emergency medical attention, such as having a head injury or broken bones, then no it isn't a waste of resources. If they're going to A&E for something that isn't appropriate for A&E resources then it is.

    This is the advice form citizens advice in regards to the problem your experiencing, which highlights what you're describing isn't anti-social behavior and that it is you who needs to tackle the issue and not the council.

    It isn't anti-social behaviour if the problem's about normal day-to-day living, for example if you don't like your neighbour's cooking smells or you can hear their baby crying. The only way to solve these problems is by talking to your neighbour to try and agree a compromise.

    If the noise does disturb you so much moving sounds like a very sensible idea although I suspect with how hypersensitive you seem to be to noise you will experience issues in most places. What are you currently doing to try and help you reduce noise levels?

    Your neighbours cannot change unless they know whats happening. If you feel unable to talk to them f2f have you considered writing them a letter explaining your situation? Additional rugs on the floor might help to muffle the sound and as this extra expense would be for your benefit you could offer to contribute to some of the cost? My neighbors complained they could hear me walking around the flat in the early hours and as I get up at 5am I did this and they haven't mentioned anything since.

  • In the end, if I feel desperate, then I feel desperate and I have every right to look for all the possible help I can get.

    They even do not know how I feel below them as they have no idea. No-one has told them.

    Maybe, if someone tells them, the situation will improve. If not, I am considering moving somewhere else in the long term.

    How about the drunk people who go to A&E when then become sick? Is not that a waste of the public resources? How about people who keep smoking? How about the ''Drunk tanks''?

    To me it is ridiculous to say that I would be wasting the Council's resources.

  • What a horrible situation to be in. Even if it is annoying your neighbor he shouldn't be swearing at you, that is anti-social behavior. I too suggest keeping a log of when your neighbor is abusive - swearing at you is abuse - and seeking advice from your housing officer. Is your neighbor renting too? If he is unable to find compassion in the situation and finds the noise to disturbing he could move, he does have other options than abusing you to in the hope that you will be able to magically get your son to change.

    I'm sorry people on this forum haven't been more understanding. I am hypersensitive to noise and live in a flat. I can often hear my neighbors going about their day-to-day lives and although it's annoying I recognise that they have a right to lives so put up with it - my employer gave me noise-cancelling headphones to use when I was working from home. I disagree with California and don't think its appropriate to report a neighbor simply because a child is running around during the day. I believe that complaint is a waste of council resources.

    I hope you're able to get help with this and things can improve. It must be difficult enough supporting your son without having this extra stress on top.

  • I am in a similar situation. The child of the neighbor's above is sometimes running there and I hate the noise.

    I am considering to contact the Council and ask them to help me to remove the noise.

  • Also,they are not SAYING THINGS TO A 4 YEARS OLD,THEY ARE TALKING TO YOU!Why you try to make it look like they are abusing him when they are exhausted by the situation?

  • i don't know who give you the competence to talk about 'harassing'or other absurdity.This is not harassment let me tell you,i do have the competence and you are giving out very silly suggestions here.Everyone got the right to enjoy their home and clearly,her neighbour ,is not enjoying at all been up early in the morning.He could take her to a civil court and she could easily lose her home and pay a lots of money.I can't believe the stupidity to give certain suggestions!

  • they are exhausted.How you don't understand that?

  • Or worst,a civil court case.I am speaking for experience.Illnesses is not an excuse unfortunately

  • If the council get involved could be even worst.Everyone got the right to rest in Their Home......

  • I’ve spoke to housing just to let them know I understand how annoying it can be for them but to say things about a four year old child is so wrong 

  • thank you I’ll definitely give them a ring 

  • I understand there point of view it jut the way they are handling it isn’t very nice 

  • I understand both.Your neighbours need sleep while your son can't help....

  • Hi kimberleyalice,

    I'm sorry to hear what a stressful time you and your family are having.  I agree with AngelDust that you might find it useful to have a chat with our helpline team. They can provide you with information and advice on this issue. You can call them on 0808 800 4104 (Monday to Thursday 10am to 4pm, Friday 9am to 3pm).Please note that the Helpline is experiencing a high volume of calls and it may take a couple of attempts before you get through to speak to an advisor.

    Please see the following link for further information:

    http://www.autism.org.uk/services/helplines/main.aspx

    I hope you find some advice that is helpful.

    Kind regards,

    Heather - Mod