Published on 12, July, 2020
My only way to cope with my autism is to use dissociation. I only started getting this two years ago and as most of the research I did said that its over a stressful time I thought it was because of my mum getting a new job. But I have an under active thyroid and I then did more research and found out that the pills I was taking (levothyroxin) could cause dissociation. Recently over the Xmas break I have been out of routine and so have been forgetting to take my pill. Cos of this I have been having angry meltdowns increased anxiety and heavy mood swing which since taking the pill to dissociate out I haven't. I'm now back on them and have return to a more neurotypical person. With dissociation I feel like I'm in a dream and often can't remember or have no idea what people are really saying to me, to some the is a very bad mental illness but to me it makes me better and it is the only way for me to cope. What do you guys think should I get this checked out and stopped when I'm a better person with it ? Does anybody else have this I'm so confused and really need some answers? Love Lily xxxx
People with dissociative disorders escape reality in ways that are work or other important areas of your life; Inability to cope well.
myPennMedicine
Dissociation is a response to trauma. I was doing it in second grade, because the other kids chased me away or tried to beat me up every day. I didn't want to bother with them. As is typical with Asperger's, I had no use for stupid kids who don't know stuff. I wanted adults. At camp, I hung around the counselors. At school, I only really talked to teachers. More recently, I lived for 20 years with a wife who hated my guts and actively attacked my self-esteem. I didn't have the sense to leave, and ended up with an amnesia event. It's not an 'inability to cope well'. It's just like masking. You do it because you have no choice. In fact, masking is exactly multiple personality disorder, another dissociation. So I've had all three dissociative disorders.
I was dissociating, earlier this afternoon, after dealing with my Artist Friend going ballistic over the phone whenever he wanted me to register his home-kit Covid Test for him. Eventually we got sorted, but soon after that my brother called me; asking whether Polystyrene goes in the Blue Bin or Black Bin. My mind was neutral, but I said probably the Blue Bin. (Recycling)
Later, in the afternoon, I got to call the Rates agency; in order to switch details over for the Rates of my family home. Things weren't helped whenever I went to a local shop while a hedge-cutter was on my road.
I feel numb, but still operate - somehow.