Published on 12, July, 2020
First post here, diagnosed about a month ago and now trying to get my partner to understand more as I’m also learning. It’s hard for me to express myself at times through words so I’m curious if anyone has any book recommendations that I could get him to read?
Welcome. It takes a while to bring loved ones up to speed when about our experience of Autism (I will admit; I can get pretty impatient about that process ...more telepathy required!).
This is the first book I got for my partner to read (he is not Autistic):
22 Things a Woman with Asperger's Syndrome Wants Her Partner to Know
By Rudy Simone
Publisher - Jessica Kingsley Publishers Ltd; Illustrated edition (15 Mar. 2012)
ISBN - 978-1849058834
did you feel as if it helped him understand a little better? I know a big part of this is ALSO advocating for myself and my needs which I’m working on but I’m over here still trying to figure it out hahah
No book can work magic in isolation. However, it can act as a good introduction to initiating relevant conversations about Autism.
You are correct about the self advocacy requirement - and yet a book might help provide prompts upon which to build your "in my case I find that ..." begining a topic.
Maybe don't attempt too many topics at once - perhaps, aim to layer introducing a new conversation topic, in context of life's events, as they occur.
It is likely to be an iterative process.
Patience will be required - as a partner will likely be required to take onboard a lot of information which:
a) is unexpected and new to them,
b) needs them to also be afforded time to think more about what it might mean in terms of habitual changes within your relationship / environment and
c) it would not be reasonable (nor realistic) for them to (all of a sudden) instantly "get" without a slew of questions / concerns / points needing clarification - they might want to discuss with yourself / others they trust when seeking guidance and advice.
You are both likely to be responding to news you had not anticipated and some people can find their partners are really supportive quite early on, some may seem somewhat overprotective, others might effectively be in denial for longer than ideal. In any event, adjustment time will likely be needed for both parties.
This is great advice. Thank you so much!