Even my friends seem to be ghosting me now!

I've met quite a few people from the internet. We will always tend to meet in a public place though, and have texted quite a bit beforehand. Plus voice/video calls. 

I do like to make that progression as soon as (provided it's mutual) because I don't want a repeat of what I had once - speaking to someone online for 1.5 years, then we met and there was no chemistry at all. I'd rather know sooner.

I've met quite a few people from the internet. We will always tend to meet in a public place though, and have texted quite a bit beforehand. Plus voice/video calls. 

I do like to make that progression as soon as (provided it's mutual) because I don't want a repeat of what I had once - speaking to someone online for 1.5 years, then we met and there was no chemistry at all. I'd rather know sooner.

My confidence comes and goes!

Right now, I could go anywhere, do anything, talk to anybody. But a week from now i might be in total lockdown mode, and like "who??!"

I was the same when I was in my twenties, I've lost a lot of my confidence of late though. My goal for the rest of my forties is to get back to being more outgoing.

That being said, I would meet with any woman i met online, cause I'm just crazy like that. Yes, autism, means travel is the last thing, on our minds. As is giving away our privacy. You should suggest a public space, and verify identitiy, videocall, photos maybe. But not everybody wants to do that. And It's best to keep anonymous, first name basis, phone number sure. But nothin more invasive. But you need a number, so you can phone them to coordinate  the meeting point, in case anybody gets lost. 

Meeting somebody online is kind of a big deal, even if they live relatively close. You've got to be quite self assured to even try it. It's a bold move to travel somewhere and meet a stranger. Even for a man. You don't know what you're walking into. Even if you think its safe. Even if everybody is who they say they are. There's a lot of variables.

R E A  L Y   ?

I don't see why you wouldn't be allowed to use their names.

Seeing as these people are, presumably, quite a distance away from you, don't you feel asking them if they're willing to do a call at some point is probably the better idea at this point? While not putting any pressure on them, so framing it as purely a suggestion.

Am I allowed to use their names? Yes the one in hospital is Goosey. She's a very very nice person!

I think I'll ask them if they want to meet me and see what (if anything) they say.

Yes, I hope she's on the mend.

Get well soon Goosey.

Yes. I have had plenty of online friendships over the years. My closest friends don't even live in the same city as me.

Mark said:

And it wouldn't be a friendship without spending time together in person would it?

Yes, it would, but an online friendship.

Your own expectations/desires need to match those of the person you are friends with.

Mark (formerly Spikey) said:

Hi Mark (other Mark here again), There is a tone of expectation here, which doesn't come across well.

I agree.

HMO said:

If you're talking about Goosey, she's told me at least that she's not been allowed her phone at times.

Bless her.

She is missed here.

Thank you for letting us know.

Hi Mark (other Mark here again), There is a tone of expectation here, which doesn't come across well. I think HMO and others are giving you good advice

Do you think you may have more luck if you asked said friends if they were willing to do a voice/video call first, before anything else?

I would just go with the flow with it. I had a habit of trying to rush things in the past and it did more harm than good. If you have come on a bit too strongly, that can also be off-putting, though I can understand that it's hard to realise that you're doing it.

Mark said:

1 of them is in hospital at the moment; I don't see how that stops her at least e-mailing me though.

If you're talking about Goosey, she's told me at least that she's not been allowed her phone at times. Plus, she may just not have the capacity for it.

They've all said they want to be friends with me. And it wouldn't be a friendship without spending time together in person would it? And I think all 3 of them (at least 2 of them anyway) have said they'd like to meet me. 1 of them is in hospital at the moment; I don't see how that stops her at least e-mailing me though.

Maybe trying to take things more slowly might help, but I've known them all for well over 6 months so I wouldn't have thought it would make much difference. It'll be the anniversary of when I first got in touch with the first one on August 20.

I would have never ever pay a home visit to someone who I know only from emails or messages. It’s dangerous. I’m not saying that you are psychopath or something, but there are many. There are also people in this forum who feel uncomfortable accepting or sending friendship requests. And I fully respect that and not getting upset, I just enjoy communication on here. With friendships it needs time. I know, it’s easy to say harder to do, but especially we sometimes need to wait longer to find the soulmate. I have one friend in real life, we met in high school and we are friends since then. It was not always perfect, but we survived some storms. One thing I told myself long time ago: forced friendship will not go. In some cases it was me ghosting someone, because the person was too talkative and I felt literally sick and drained out of energy after 1 hour interaction with her. She was nice and good, but I couldn’t cope with the flood of words and her topics changed quickly. So there are many reasons why friendships may end. Most important thing is finding someone we feel good with (applies to both sides). 

good points.