Published on 12, July, 2020
I thought I would write a piece about dating with disabilities. I’m currently (single) but have found dating a minefield, I was bullied severely in secondary school as mentioned in a previous peice and post. I have had girlfriends but nothing really serious. I found myself recently using “adult material” as a gap fill instead, and realising I want a girlfriend and something real and meaningful it’s also sad which is then depressing as there’s more to life.
Its days and weeks when I don’t speak to anyone, another day not talking to anyone?!
Under the WHO and Universal declaration of human rights and various clauses is the right of disabled to have a sexuality and eqaul access to health care.
I read a peice about sexuality and sex and disabilities Peter commented on it.
I’ve tried disability dating agencies with no luck, it was the worst experience of my life ever! I went to a disability dating agency I was shown a brochure, page after page of disabled all looking for love it was degrading and demoralising. I have had proper adult relationships first person I said I loved it ended badly, but I still care about her, she’s moved on with someone else but I still care about her first love Charlotte nice girl.
The word love is chucked around so easily how people interpreted love there’s also sex and love which are two different things.
I’m sitting at home at the moment just me and my mum and I want something real and meaningful, a silent house. Having no girlfriend is depressing, I don’t want to pay for adult relations just to have some female companionship touch interaction with a girl. There’s no point being a man if you have no one but particularly a girlfriend.
I shoulndt have to pay for female companionship or interaction, I have a masseuse I have her because it’s any sort of female interaction it shows how little I interact with people as mentioned I have no friends which is even more depressing I have agoraphobia.
I spend days not talking to anyone and (I’m not happy) (I don’t want a partner).
I reach out trying to talk to girls online which end up being fakes I want to talk to real girls and women, it’s isolating and frustrating, then do I go to another dating agency? Or give up any relationship and become a monk “joke”.
I read other blogs about disabilities and sex and sexuality it shouldn't be this difficult and fiddly to find a girlfriend.
im probably not the only one to find them selves in this situation but if your a heterosexual male it’s like “is that all there is” “I want more than adult material”, I want a real relationship with a girl. It’s good for clarity knowing what I want but I feel like I’ve been left on shelf at 40 which is depressing as well. I don’t want alternative I would like a nice cute female librarian that would do.
Im not superficial or vein just a genuine lad, I have looked and have tried and I still want a girlfriend would be nice
ok. Did you ask her what she wants and hopes" for?
This basicly sums up my approch to dating.
Nah I think I over did it. I made a private social media group called Human flesh search engine (literal translation of the chinese term Rénròu Sōusuǒ: it's a search engine made of flesh not spicificly for flesh) to ask for my friends help looking for dates. They all removed themselves from the group fairly fast. The idea of activly using they social conections to help me search for dates must have made them fear for their social standing amoung their peers.
this is good. Keep asking and collecting information. There are people out there who would match you. you just need to put yourself where they can find you. these answers will steer you in the right direction by helping you fill in a map of how you are perceived. You will get many answers. don't take any of them personally. think of it as research.
also you can find groups with common interests and focus there.
I had stalker so for 4/5 years thought I was talking to a girl and then you get fake DMS as well combined with the dating agencies etc as well sincere genuine lad just trying to find a girlfriend would be nice. What I meant by real is a real girl had a few drag etc no offence hope not trying to explain by what I mean as real and it’s not just the once
Seems advisable to test them at the start of every drive, now that he mentions it.
I Sperg said:SO (and you can take this to the bank) what they think they want, and what they actually need, are two very different things, which makes obtaining dating advice from them, an optimistic endeavour at best, and usually about as much use as oil soaked brake pads.
I just want one women one relationship thanks for the message
And I was agreeing, and offering an explanation why not.
They clearly don't like me blabbing the secret knowledge... ;c)
According to my Dr I am punching well above my weight for an Autistic person, in terms of how I relate and function socially. In fact until I did the test it appeared form his attitude that he was treating me like an imposter.
Since it is an achievement that I feel was "aimed for and got" rather than blind luck, it follows (So I thought) that I might have something to offer in discussions such as this.
Especially since, unlike most men, I spent 3 or 4 years being the only (invisible, I do invisible very well) male in a class full of young females listening to them witter on about relationships, expections, what was wrong with blokes, what they "really want out of life" etc.
Of course we pretend that the fundamental biology and way womens brains are structured has changed over the last few years, making such knowledge out of date, but I'm not so sure it is. I am sure however that we are swimming in a sea of guff these days about about how human bonding adn relationships really work...
SO (and you can take this to the bank) what they think they want, and what they actually need, are two very different things, which makes obtaining dating advice from them, an optimistic endeavour at best, and usually about as much use as oil soaked brake pads.
Disclaimer: I'm possibly fairly low T, as I never wanted or tried to be a "Playa". All I ever aimed for, was one woman, one relationship...
I recently had a stalker which has made me Ill. So dating is even more difficult when you have agoraphobia and been sexually harassed by a stalker. I don’t leave the house, so groups near enough impossible my anxiety is too severe for groups. I don’t like men. As I was sexually harassed by a man as well. I’m looking for genuine real girl not a liar who’s manipulative. I spoke to a girl in Parliament years ago in regards autism assessment it’s a personal thing I’ve found it’s not helped no help or support just get on with it. Looking for girls
I Sperg said:if they were not mysterious and different from us men, then they woudn't be "real" women...
I’m only pointing out the advice I’ve received from female friends hasn’t been terribly helpful
It’s mostly the ones that only allow paid access do this. They filter out people who they think are so undesirable that there’s no way they can match them with anyone
I had a woman once tell me that in short, "no one wants to date a nutter".
Pretty clear right??
She went on not only to date me, but to have my child...
My "copulatng" is utter rubbish compared to what they manage in porn, YET, both my relationships ran (are running) to over 20 years, so I guess bringing a bit of consideration and thought to bed makes up for my "sub-atlas" physique.
I've not ever found womens perspective on "Dating & relationships" to be anything like as useful, as I expected.
But to be honest, if they were not mysterious and different from us men, then they woudn't be "real" women...
Sporadic Sparkly said:It probably explains why I never seemed to have much luck back in the days when I used dating sites. I clearly wasn't shallow enough.
Snap!
Yes - what you say. Realism and effort and good luck = happy relationships.
Fascinating! I didn't even know that dating sites enabled their algorithms to "control" access in that way.
Pegg said:That so? I've been doing it all wrong, dammit!
I guess that makes two of us.
It probably explains why I never seemed to have much luck back in the days when I used dating sites. I clearly wasn't shallow enough.
You would think so. So while I was in uni asked a friend why I found it so hard to make friends. She took a day or two to think about it. She came back telling me she thought I was like eddie izard. That I had incredible abilities and unique perspective that made me a really intresting person but that it also made me totally unrelatable (aparently that's what she thinks of izzard as a comic).
I once asked another friend and she said she thought girls would assume (based on looking at me) that I lacked stamina in bed and wouldn't be able to copulate vigiously enough to satisfy. (I guess I don't look very athletic)
lol