Published on 12, July, 2020
I thought I would write a piece about dating with disabilities. I’m currently (single) but have found dating a minefield, I was bullied severely in secondary school as mentioned in a previous peice and post. I have had girlfriends but nothing really serious. I found myself recently using “adult material” as a gap fill instead, and realising I want a girlfriend and something real and meaningful it’s also sad which is then depressing as there’s more to life.
Its days and weeks when I don’t speak to anyone, another day not talking to anyone?!
Under the WHO and Universal declaration of human rights and various clauses is the right of disabled to have a sexuality and eqaul access to health care.
I read a peice about sexuality and sex and disabilities Peter commented on it.
I’ve tried disability dating agencies with no luck, it was the worst experience of my life ever! I went to a disability dating agency I was shown a brochure, page after page of disabled all looking for love it was degrading and demoralising. I have had proper adult relationships first person I said I loved it ended badly, but I still care about her, she’s moved on with someone else but I still care about her first love Charlotte nice girl.
The word love is chucked around so easily how people interpreted love there’s also sex and love which are two different things.
I’m sitting at home at the moment just me and my mum and I want something real and meaningful, a silent house. Having no girlfriend is depressing, I don’t want to pay for adult relations just to have some female companionship touch interaction with a girl. There’s no point being a man if you have no one but particularly a girlfriend.
I shoulndt have to pay for female companionship or interaction, I have a masseuse I have her because it’s any sort of female interaction it shows how little I interact with people as mentioned I have no friends which is even more depressing I have agoraphobia.
I spend days not talking to anyone and (I’m not happy) (I don’t want a partner).
I reach out trying to talk to girls online which end up being fakes I want to talk to real girls and women, it’s isolating and frustrating, then do I go to another dating agency? Or give up any relationship and become a monk “joke”.
I read other blogs about disabilities and sex and sexuality it shouldn't be this difficult and fiddly to find a girlfriend.
im probably not the only one to find them selves in this situation but if your a heterosexual male it’s like “is that all there is” “I want more than adult material”, I want a real relationship with a girl. It’s good for clarity knowing what I want but I feel like I’ve been left on shelf at 40 which is depressing as well. I don’t want alternative I would like a nice cute female librarian that would do.
Im not superficial or vein just a genuine lad, I have looked and have tried and I still want a girlfriend would be nice
It's good that you're being honest with yourself regarding superficiality. That's an opportunity to improve yourself. I don't know how old you are, but life will definitely knock you around really hard, and I don't how else to grow in empathy. It helps to remember that many times two different problems are different routes to the same challenge. So, that means you can look out and see someone whose mouth is paralyzed, and realize that that's a lot like how your facial expressions don't work naturally, so people don't connect with you. Everyone is striving to live their life, and we always have things in common. It's just a matter of learning to feel those things deeply, and you begin to discover that the opportunity to prop someone else up where they are weak, is a depth of love you never felt back when you are always insisting on your notion of having a "peer". There's no such thing. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and if someone disabled if weathering a challenge, then they should be loved for their courage.
I’m getting tones of fake DM’s fake girls I want to talk to girls and it’s depressing upsetting and demoralising when single and you want a girlfriend. I don’t want to talk to men no offence
I had that experience too with eHarmony
It’s mostly the ones that only allow paid access do this. They filter out people who they think are so undesirable that there’s no way they can match them with anyone
Fascinating! I didn't even know that dating sites enabled their algorithms to "control" access in that way.
that happened to me too.
Many years ago I signed up for eHarmony and they rejected my application, saying their algorithm wouldn’t work for me.
Talk about a punch to the gut.
I’ve had a stalker which has left me with mental health anxiety and agoraphobia pushing myself isn’t easy, i said to my counsellor having had a stalker has devastated my life every part, so pushing myself isn’t easy kind regards
Well I'm sorry to hear that, so maybe just push yourself a little? Use something like meetup.com to go to some quiet venues and introduce yourself to people. Just one small step at a time. There may be ASD/introvert friendly events on. That'd be a good starting point.
I seriously wouldn't stick to dating apps, they'll just waste your time and money. Or you'll just have scammers leading you on.
social media and esspecially online dating have a lot of bots and 'working women' (mostly cam girls). The sites don't filter them out because there is already a huge imbalence in the male to female ratio on these websites.
I’ve got agoraphobia makes meeting people difficult
Yeah, dating is tough and I wouldn't recommend dating apps to anyone. Unless you're a guy who looks like Brad Pitt. They're incredibly superficial.
A solid tactic is just go to events and meetups.
Make some friends and see how relationships flourish over time. If you come off as desperate for a relationship people will run a mile.
lol, last time I tried a dating site I got a ton of men in drag, girls trying to sell their OF, and single mums looking for somebody to raise their multiple illegitimate kids! No, thanks!
As a disabled 40 years old man, you are not top shelf material yourself, by the way. Are you sure that you are having realistic expectations?