Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm in my late 20s and have been curious about dating for quite a long time. I've wanted to try dating for ages, never have because of anxiety but since my dad got sick I realized if I leave it too late potentially my partner might not meet my parents, and if we had kids my kids might not know their grandparents and that's an upsetting thought and a worry but it's a realistic worry.
So with the above in mind I'm interested in dating and determined to give it a try in the next couple of months. I'm currently working at a preschool nursery, really fun job, the kids are great and the staff are all amazing and very supportive and understanding of my autism, even when I've unfortunately let them down and been unable to go in because my autism and anxiety were triggered. I couldn't wish to work in a better environment. The noise can be a bit much at times but when this happens I can go outside or in to the staff room. It's ideal for me and I love every second of it. I suffered a mental breakdown four years ago. At the time I never saw a future of myself where I would be well, happy and able to work and yet this hypothetical future is now a reality. Even now it feels like a dream.
Has anyone experience of dating and relationships with autism?
Would you say an autistic partner is best or do relationships with neurotypicals work out
And do you think it's worth me trying to do this? I've read so many accounts of dating for someone with autism and I know it's a bit of a lottery. I worry if I'm unsuccessful. I try not to overthink it though!
I'm lucky the woman who employed me is helping me try to become independent and I've considered asking her thoughts on this too.
Anyone who has expressed an interest in me, has normally just been interested in my looks and in immediate sexual gratification. When they realise how mentally unwell I am, they normally lose interest in seeing me again. I cannot complain as I have also rejected partners for the same reason. A lot of Autists are severely unwell mentally and can be tough to get along with. They are also used to their own company, resolutely set in their own ways and have idiosyncratic opinions that another person might disagree with.I imagine a lot of Autistic people would be best off with an NT partner. Someone who can explain the world to them and help them adjust to it. Someone who can be strong for them.
Mental health is extremely difficult. I suffer from this and it's hard coping with myself let alone expecting someone else to cope with it too. This is one of my biggest worries, though, now I am working I'm hoping it will improve. If it doesn't then I will likely end up in hospital again so I need to ensure I don't fail at this. Hopefully dating will come later.
I'm sorry of your own dating experience. I've read about this a lot for others as well. It seems to work out for some but not for the majority. I think an NT partner would be better suited for me. Time will tell I guess.
Selina said: I think an NT partner would be better suited for me.
They'll never understand you.