So I had a pre-diagnosis assessment recently which I found really interesting and answered a lot of questions. It turns out it’s autism and adhd. I’d never really contemplated adhd before but now everything makes a lot more sense. I joined here a while ago but haven’t really participated as I felt like a bit of a fraud as I don’t yet have a formal diagnosis, and I’m still not sure if I should feel that way until properly diagnosed… I do a lot of reading in forums but very rarely participate anyway as I find it really hard if I don’t get any replies. I guess I’m not alone in that.

Has anyone else been surprised by being told adhd as well as autism too? This is all coming to light late in life, I haven’t exactly managed everything well up until this point. I’m wondering it would have made any difference if I’d known when I was younger. 

  • I can’t comment on the adhd side of things, only the autism side. But the bit that I wanted to jump in on is the feeling like a fraud/waiting for a formal diagnosis before joining in on here. I was exactly the same and only joined in after my diagnosis. I wish I hadn’t waited. Lots of people on here are awaiting a diagnosis, or are self diagnosed (perfectly valid). This is such a helpful community, so please do feel free to join in- I’ve found it to be both welcoming and helpful.

  • welcome

    I was diagnosed autistic at 42y.o. and I learnt how to mask my ADHD in public so they did not notice it. years of punishment at school was a working incentive,  like ABA therapy, a horror that made me start masking earlier then I would probably, 8y.o instead of 13y.o, I think we normally begin in adolescence, and only because of no tolerance in society

    don't compare yourself to standards of others

  • Thanks Coffee Guy. I guess I’m desperate to find somewhere I fit in, and apart from not knowing how or where to do that, or if I have anything of interest to say (I either have very little to say as my mind goes blank or I over talk and interrupt and talk about myself far too much!), I think I need it confirmed somehow, even though it’s incredibly obvious to myself. There’s also that worry that it’s ‘fashionable’ at the moment to have any of these labels - though I think that says more about the very few people I know (or how I think they will react), and that someone/anyone may look at me and roll their eyes and think oh she’s one of them or attention seeking. In reality I’d rather not have any of the issues I have in life and as much as the whole thing is starting to feel like a bit of a relief that I’m now finding out what the issue is, I’m also a bit angry and feel it’s unfair. 

    Sorry, bit of a mind dump there! 

  • Thanks Mariusz. I’m a little older than you, it’s been a bit of a revelation, and I’ve had lots of ‘Oh…’ moments this week. It’s explained quite a lot of my behaviour over the years. I’ve always been quite irritable and quick to call someone out, possibly argumentative and completely unmotivated and my house and life is a disorganised mess. Mixed in with ridiculous social issues and anxiety, perfectionism and awful sound sensory issues. Although always scoring quite high in the aq50, usually 43, there was still aspects of autism that made me think well I don’t do that. But now I’ve started to read up on adhd it’s actually starting to make sense, almost like they are both fighting against each other. I guess I’d never even thought of adhd because I’d always associated it with being hyper. But after quite a lot of research last night it all makes sense. Annoyingly though. As I’d quite like everything to go away and currently feel like I’ve been dealt a crap card in life. 

  • it isn't 

    a crap card

    but the society with its endless gaslighting would like it, if we felt like that

  • That’s something I’ve noticed while I’ve been quietly reading posts daily. A lot here see it as a positive thing. I guess I need to get my head around it all. In fact I’m sure I saw someone post that their assessor, or psychiatrist or someone explain that it was like the next step of evolution, I quite liked that.

    It certainly hasn’t been positive for me, but I guess that’s because of other people, and their incredible selfishness I come across every time I have to leave the house.