Published on 12, July, 2020
Probably feel more anxious these days when I'm by myself than when I'm at work which is ironic cause by the end of a week I feel like I need a few days off with no people Worried about others always alone even though I still live at home worrying about the future trying to make sense of why nurotypicals hate us and why they hate us feeling butter cause nothing ever changes for us. Scared to go out on my days off cause you think everyone is out to screw you over even though in reality there not and not being able sleep due to dwelling on the past and thinking back to how you've been treated and feeling like your in hell I don't beleive in heaven hell but metaphoricaly. Speaking. Like s constant headache that won't go away.
Well done for coming out. You have my support.
My anxiety is the worst it has ever been and this crept up on me after I graduated. There have been a lot of personal changes since then, including coming out as non-binary and my best friend coming out as transgender. The news (especially the reports on anti-LGBT laws being passed in America) are a massive trigger for my anxiety. However, I am happy that my parents provide me free board, food and I'm not required to work, especially since we're by no means the richest household around. Google 'the spotlight effect' in regards to your social anxiety going out. It essentially means that your mind is playing a trick on you that makes you believe that everybody surrounding you is focusing on you. In reality, people are focusing on what they are having for dinner that night; how much petrol they need to put in their car and other mundane life thoughts. Positive vibes being sent your way
Definitely. I am at a loss most days. I long for human company.
Beylikdüzü Konut Projeleri thanks for helpfull writing. this article very important and true.
Learning to juggle is brilliant not only for anxiety but improving mental processes (and stamina) - also focussing on juggling means thoughts can come and go, and calm, its like mindfulness. Its difficult to juggle well, or any activity involving physical coordination (even just balancing), if your thoughts are racing/raging or not managed well.
It is not easy though, and frustrating, but your brain is gradually making sense of what you are trying to do, and it can take a long time for it to click into places. Its an amazing feeling when it does, even if you drop a ball straight away, you then move on to your brain learning to keep it all going for longer and longer
I had no trouble with 2 balls as a child, but 3 was just impossible for me (so I thought), and then later in life tried again but still no luck, it was only in recent years that I made a real effort to help with depression.
Free time means free to think, and thinking of worries (and fears) will raise your anxiety levels. Anxiety then causes more worrying thoughts and leads to depression and mental illnesses or disturbances.
Autistic people tend to self-focus between not self-focussing (dealing with others, going out, etc.), and that means you can stuck on thoughts that aren't helpful or make you feel bad/worse/ill.
If you have only known this way of being (as I had), then you are locked into this, but if you can think yourself into anxiety or illness then you can probably think yourself into feeling calm and wellness.
When you have free time is good to self-focus, but don't make it suffer-time, choose something else.
Yes, be aware of worries and fears but observe them and dwell on them - worries and fears need action to reduce or clear them away, not more thoughts. Getting stuck on the thinking rather that the action bit. Some things you can't solve, or can't solve for now, so the action is to accept you can't solve it/them.
Very, very true.
Yeah I've always said doctors are morons when it comes to understanding autism or ADHD along with shrinks too. There fine at the rest of there jobs but a nurotypical mind will never understand ours.
I know it doesn't really make a huge difference to feeling better but in a way I find it's nice to know we aren't all alone in feeling this way.
It's still hard as heck though. Life speeding along faster than I can handle. It's more manageable when I'm busy and occupied with things but when it gets too much you're on your own. No support, no help. Doctors don't help. You write to the MP or something and they make promises but never deliver. So you're still in it alone.
Like you I can't handle social situations. I try but I just can't. I don't really try to be social now if I'm honest, I did used to but got hurt and used before so now I struggle to trust others.
The world is very anti-Autism. We all share the world, but a lot of the time it feels like I'm not wanted here.
I’m going to learn to juggle: thank you
As in I find heavy Metal helps me home in on my hyperfocus cause your focused on the rifts and you work to the speed and tempo but also Chanel your anger to the music which I find then resleses my stress making me calmer after.
I did Warhammer but once I started doing it on commission I got board with it. Cause it turned into a job but now I have another job I'm tempted to get back into the hobby still have s bit of scenery and a few sets lying round I could potentially get on with but yeah arts my main hobby usual painting in my room with some Heavy metal on nothing cures hyper focus temporarily than a bit death of thrash metal. I find it's pretty productive to work to as works to the speed of mind and the mentality of it I guess.
I'm not either unless I'm drinking then that's the only time I feel confident. The rest of the time round I'm introvert always on edge figity cause of my ADHD hell I think my nervousness makes others nervous as they then get suspicious of you. I do carry one of the national autistic cards around in my wallet just incase but like public transport rtriggers my anxiety but like you when I'm working I'm fine I switch off I'm in routine I'm fine. But anything ellse when it comes to social conversions without drink I'm a nervous reck and a complete introvert thing is though I like talking but when you have crippleing anxiety it's not so easy. But being on my own my consionce races like whys the world so fucked why are goverment so corrupt why has nothing changed for us why don't people still understand yet even though we've been on this planet just as long as nurotypicals have cause I understand how autism devolps along with ADHD and slot of its linked to DNA over laps so why aren't we still not accepted in society *** like that basically. And yeah sucidal thoughts go through my mind to I guess at times cause I'm so sick of the bullshit and the migraine in my head. But nice to know I'm not alone I guess.
That's a lot to have your on mind. I get it though. It's like having a constant thinking and talking headache all the time, that sort of anxiety worrying thinking. It lessens for me when I'm busy doing things but comes back in a storm when I'm idle, like when trying to fall asleep which results in very little sleep. I also find it's like this when I try to eat I guess because eating isn't very mind consuming.
I'm not a people person, they cause me a great deal of anxiety. In the past I've been lied to, tricked and hurt. They are literally the worst and never understand, because they don't even try to understand in my opinion. They see us and hate us without trying to get to know us first.
I hate being on my own, it sucks and it's lonely but I'd rather be like that than with people who treat me like rubbish.
Usually being on my own is ok so long as I keep busy. If I don't keep busy then anxiety creeps in and I'm in for a rough day.