Published on 12, July, 2020
I've never had any reason to think I might be autistic but I did a test that popped up on facebook in an idle moment and was a bit surprised when it told me I was highly likely to be autistic. I didn't take it very seriously - facebook is hardly an authoritative source - but it niggled me a bit so I've taken every AQ test I can find online, repeatedly, and consistently get scores of 35-38. The main reason I think it unlikely that I could be autistic is that I am not a creature of habit, I'm untidy and don't like routines, in fact I like things that break routines, which doesn't sound very typical of autism from what I've read. But for some reason all these tests have unsettled me and I can't put my finger on why. I was just wondering if this resonates with anyone or if any of you have any thoughts to share on my experience?
I'm extremely untidy, unclean even. My executive function is often very poor.
I initially thought I didn't care for routines. It is amazing how much routine you can begin to notice when you look beyond routine being equivalent to a schedule. Timing is only one type of routine, but order to things is also routine. Sameness is routine. I then realised I do seek routine, and when I am forced to deviate from those routines then I do become really unwell with anxiety.
My room is, predominately, a tip. Joggers, and jackets, on the floor; rather than the wardrobe.