Published on 12, July, 2020
I've never had any reason to think I might be autistic but I did a test that popped up on facebook in an idle moment and was a bit surprised when it told me I was highly likely to be autistic. I didn't take it very seriously - facebook is hardly an authoritative source - but it niggled me a bit so I've taken every AQ test I can find online, repeatedly, and consistently get scores of 35-38. The main reason I think it unlikely that I could be autistic is that I am not a creature of habit, I'm untidy and don't like routines, in fact I like things that break routines, which doesn't sound very typical of autism from what I've read. But for some reason all these tests have unsettled me and I can't put my finger on why. I was just wondering if this resonates with anyone or if any of you have any thoughts to share on my experience?
Autism is a spectrum, its not just about behaviours but how you process information and interpret the world around you.
Autism comorbid with ADHD manifests in strange on conflicting habits that can easily go unseen for decades before anyone actually notices that something is different about you.some people with both disorder describe wanting a routine but struggle to stick to one.
Often the individuals with Average or above intelligence with both autism and ADHD are often misdiagnosed with bipolar, depression, chronic anxiety, dissociative disorder, or post traumatic stress but the identifying feature that can be seen is that it is either individuals with autism, ADHD or both is how they respond to medications used to treat these disorder.
Individuals with autism and ADHD do not often benefit from antidepressants as these medication do not affect patients in the appropriate way. some of these medication that treat anxiety and depression make ADHD behaviour worst and some of these medication make masking autism more difficult or alter sensory experiences.
From experience i do not have a typical autism profile in that even though i am male identify with the new stereotypical profile of Autism in females in that i will do anything to try and mask and camouflage myself but this isn't possible for me to do for too long as it creates a deficit in energy. I had repeatedly experience uncontrollable emotional outburst which i know understands is autism related. I have strange episodes of hyperfocus and episodes where i just can't do anything because i get overwhelmed. I often fight with myself internally because i like to keep to a structure but often get overwhelmed by the newest or littlest change in that structure will make me deconstruct a single task to the point they become super overwhelming.
Blue said:describe wanting a routine but struggle to stick to one.
Story of my life! Thanks for the insights.
This is exactly how I feel! I felt safe when my life had a fixed structure like when I was at school, now I'm an adult I feel like everything is chaotic and unpredictable and it makes me constantly stressed but I can never manage to decide upon the best routine so it's always changing.
That's the exact description of my life, BassFace. The older I get, the more life seems out of control and I don't know what to do and how to cope. Yet I'm expected to know and cope.