Published on 12, July, 2020
It was suggested to me by my psychotherapist in the summer that I might be autistic. I have since done a lot of research and can identify with some of the signs but not all of them. Although my GP has agreed to refer me for an assessment, I sense that he has not taken it that seriously and doesn't believe that I'm actually autistic. I have learnt that girls and women are good at hiding their difficulties and, being in my late 40s now, I will have learnt to adapt to survive so far. Does anyone have any advice they can give me about what it's like for a woman in her forties to pursue a diagnosis? Also, does anyone share my sense that they can really identify with some symptoms of being on the spectrum but not all of them? I feel I would benefit from talking to someone who has already been through the experience and any help or advice they can give me.
I’ve just been diagnosed at 39. I was worried that the assessor wouldn’t be up to date with female presentation but she was. She was very aware of the nuance in diagnostic traits and asked probing questions to really understand what it’s like for me. I was ready (if it hadn’t worked out as expected) to say “are you aware of how females present differently to males?” But I didn’t need to and I’m pleased to say I had a positive assessment process.
A lot of the time I would answer “I’ve managed to overcome that problem by doing x y or z”. For example, I can go to the supermarket (because as an adult I have to!) but I wear noise cancelling headphones (and have the same strict list every week) and this helps me cope with the overwhelming sensory input.
I used to have frequent meltdowns but I’ve learnt to predict them and talk through my problems or have a “day off”. So I get totally overwhelmed.
I don’t relate to the collecting things and intense interests in the stereotyping way but my assessor asked more detailed questions about whether I’m ok throwing things away etc.
You don’t need to relate to all the traits in the stereotypical ways. I was worried to say I’m training to be a counsellor as stereotypically autistic people “can’t feel empathy”, but it’s not that straight forward.
Hope that helps x
Emotion - We can but it can be processed or shown in a different way. Wow, training to be a counsellor I think that's great. You will have an understanding of people (ie those on the spectrum) that maybe some counsellors don't have.