Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello everyone I’ve always had some difficulties with understanding some of my emotions I know when it’s super obvious like if I’m laughing my head off about something but I keep thinking about my autism assessment I was asked several times what I was feeling or how I felt about something and I couldn’t really answer properly does anyone else suffer with this sort of thing is it to do with my autism?
Absolutely! I have a mood meter next to my desk at home that I check in with during the day so I recognise what I'm feeling. Ask me how I feel about something I'd struggle to say, ask me what I think about it though - I could go on for ages.
I've also noticed I have delayed emotional reaction to things, something can happen with work and i can think I'm fine about it- then it'll hit me a couple of hours later.
Yes or things hit me weeks or months later when my brain has worked it all out and it's filtered through. But by then of course it's far too late to go back to the person and say 'when you said that to me in December, it really upset me.' Or whatever. Because they've moved on and forgotten about it long ago...
Yeah I agree I sort of get a lag when it's a difficult emotion to process. I only realised I loved somebody years later. She would say something to me and I'd be quiet for an hour and then I'd know how to respond. Probably something to do with all of the other stimuli where we were at the time.
Ah right, you've reached the limit of my knowledge. I don't know any more about romantic relationships. Good luck
Yes, I've read that, thanks. He's clearly a practical person, and i'm an affirmation person. I think we're both really clear about loving/caring for each other, but can't get it together. I shutdown if he's physical towards me and he shutsdown if i start talking about us. Seems we're both patient with each other and holding on though, so there's hope!
Have you heard of 'the 5 love languages'? Look those up, it might help you. It is basically saying everyone has a different way of showing they love someone, and a different way they like someone to show they love them.
e.g. if people do practical things to help me, like helping me clear up the kitchen, doing the shopping etc, I know they love me. Whereas my brother in law likes to get lots of gifts to show someone loves him.
Yeah, he always behaves like he's in love with me and has taken me to many places that are "his." I'm very much a word person, I need things to be made explicit to understand and operate. We speak different languages in this regard. But at least I've sussed the dynamic so hopefully that'll mean things will work eventually between us.
Thanks for the advice!
A piece of advice. Let him take you to a place he is comfortable in. Then see how he behaves, if he is lovng towards you then he may love you but not have the words to say it. Or he may be scared of the changes if you two were to get together. He may not be able to envision what it would be like in a relationship.