anyone else given up on relationships --- permanently?

haven't had one in almost a couple decades, and don't foresee one anytime soon, if ever. it's just too hard being around someone, i need to do things my way, i hate cleaning things (except washing the dishes, i love to cook, although it's often the same exact thing), i don't[ bother screwing in light bulbs that burn out (i use solar lights i carry around and prop up, for crying out loud), and my house is so messy and revolting that i can't have anyone in...  i seem to have my own slug-like rhythm, which i don't want others intruding on. in short, i am impossible to be around, and i find others impossible to tolerate, and probably will lash out at them sooner rather than later.

i am very private, very into myself, and don't let others into my world. having another person around, on an intimate or even semi-intimate basis, would just feel like an intrusion. i'd be like a cat on ice. literally. just super uncomfortable and exposed. i can't stand that. it feels like part of my aspergers - this need to be private. there's the social person (try to act normal) and the private person (secret and hidden under wraps). with 'close' friends, i generally am around them only for a couple hours at a time. that's it, without exception.

i feel some in the asd community are very very isolated, while most seem to be fairly or very social. i guess i'm asking the totally isolated ones for their input. 

Parents
  • Yea, I've given up on the idea of relationships. I'm not sure I'm that bothered about it, it doesn't feel like a massive loss to me. Maybe one day it will. But not right now it doesn't, Haven't been in a relationship for over 10 years. Haven't even had sexual contact with anyone for over 10 years. If it wasn't for me having a pet bird who is fairly scared of the dark I'd probably be living in the dark at night too, just using a torch or something or the light of the TV if it's on, which mostly it isn't on. Till my routine time to watch TV which is just before bed. 

Reply
  • Yea, I've given up on the idea of relationships. I'm not sure I'm that bothered about it, it doesn't feel like a massive loss to me. Maybe one day it will. But not right now it doesn't, Haven't been in a relationship for over 10 years. Haven't even had sexual contact with anyone for over 10 years. If it wasn't for me having a pet bird who is fairly scared of the dark I'd probably be living in the dark at night too, just using a torch or something or the light of the TV if it's on, which mostly it isn't on. Till my routine time to watch TV which is just before bed. 

Children